So I don't know if this is from throwing up lots and lots of blood and blood chunks, or from throwing up a little blood today, or overall me throwing up frequently like almost every day, or if it something totally different, but..... I have a sore on the top of my gum and it is sore and swollen. Some people think my stomach lining is torn, but it doesn't hurt that much anymore, and I threw up a tiny bit of blood today not much though and no chunks of blood today, so I don't think its that. I don't know if it is something to do with my bulimia or not.
Does anyone know? I am too afraid to go to the doctor:/
I would definitely guess its the reaction from your stomach acid frequently visiting and reacting with your gums and the surrounding area. Our mouths can put up with the corrosive element found in our stomachs sparingly, but for people like us who suffer from bulimia we cross the line when it comes to what our body can tolerate.
Being afraid of going to the doctor would only be logical if you were unable to admit that you did not have bulimia, which you have already done in your post.
The doctor is going to be able to help you and give you real facts that you can use to help turn around your actions and hopefully get your body healthy again. You are strong and have been able to admit you have a problem, now you should gather your courage again and try to find a solution for this very real symptom probably caused by your bulimia.
I have much love for you, and I sincerely hope that your problem is not serious. I am here specifically, though you have thousands of people here who are willing to help through listening and responding should you choose to invoke it.
You do not have to listen to me, but if I were you I would try my best to face that fear and go to the doctor. It will hardly feel comfortable, and I would be very scared too, but when reading your status I'm really worried.
I know I should go to the doctor, I know what I am doing is wrong. I just do not want to stop until I am skinny, although if I could get really skinny fast another way I would definitely try it, but nothing I know of works that fast and nothing I know will make me really skinny. And I have to admit, I think throwing up is an addiction for me, and it is probably serious.
If it gets a lot worse, I might consider going to my doctor, and I am seeing a counsellor hopefully this month so maybe I can tell them. Thank you both for your support
I wish I could help more. The truth is my own head is telling me things very similar to what yours is telling to you, so I can imagine how difficult it is to go and seek help when your head is telling you it's not the time yet. I will really cross my fingers for you to find the courage to make that step, even if not to own up to the ED, but at least to seek some medical help for the consequences you are experiencing. Good luck