for the past two days i have been doing some thinking.... thinking about this divorce that happened almost 4 years ago... i know i do not want back in the marriage for a fact... but what could have brought on my feelings?
I honestly think it is the fact that i want to create a family for my child, i dont miss my ex i think i just miss what he was in my life. My husband and a father to my child. I hadnt heard from him for a couple of days untill today when we spoke i kept it short completely didnt want to hear what he had to say.
If i continue to cocentrate on MY life then I think all theese feelings might just go away? So i guess im kind of hoping my thoughts are on the right track but if not someone please tell me so i do not continue fooling my self lol....
I'm right there with you! I don't want back in the marriage either but some days I just miss the life of a family....a dad at home, being a wife and knowing you have a partner when times are tough. And seeing him happy with someone else just makes the desire that much stronger for me. I am dating again and have a wonderful person in my life but its never going to be the same when we are not both parents to our children. I just wonder sometimes when this gets easier :(
Persons who deal with particular problems such as yours should keep a close watch on their specific needs. You mention that you desire to create a family for your child and this feeling is natural. Your thoughts are on the right track. After all, you have no idea what to expect. As you work through your healing you will find yourself cycling back to one stage or another. I hope you find strength beyond your own. God be with you.
Snbeckm We are both on the same page. Its hard being single moms! I too have someone in my life and sometimes i think that way. Then i think about how unhappy i was in the marriage and the reason i left and it helps me get rid of that feeling because i know that my family would not be a happy one had i stayed in that marriage.
Misty Lady thank you for your kind words. I have no idea what to expect and my life is definately a work in progress! but thank you for the encouragement!!!
I'll admit that what I'm about to say sounds really tacky....but after hearing advice from everyone!! my dad said to me one day...I have some advice for you. I just groaned and he said just hear me out.....then said I heard a quote once "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else" lol!! I got a really good laugh out of it, I'm certainly not the type of person to just sleep with anyone....but actually the company of someone else really does seem to help and it certainly doesnt have to be sexual. It's just nice to hear compliments and have someone gushing over you when your feeling down in the dumps.
LOL ooo wow you just made my day that was funny!!!! I agree it is always nice to feel like the world revolves around you!!!!
Still, I am grateful to you for your kindness. I am pulling for you!
Stillconfused,
I know how you feel at times. As a man who has his child it would be nice to have someone around the house just to be there with us occasionally. I'm not divorced yet but she did move out a couple months ago. Snbeckm I must admit that is a pretty funny saying.
Snbeckm, I'm w/the rest thats excellant advice, we need to respect our elders more....thats for sure.
I have been separated for two years now, the first year was ok because we were still doing all the events together ( christmas ,birthday etc.) but this second year she found someone else and she wants to cut out the events. I find myself fighting for the relationship again not to be 100 per cent out of the family. I think I need a support group, am tired of being alone. does anybody know any good support groups
When we recognize what it is that we are actually in love with then we can begin to heal just remember it is ok to miss him but know what it is your missing some people in their pain fantasizes what their ex's were like but what they forget is all the bad stuff that caused the divorce in the first place. It's a known evil that is familiar and less dangerous in their mind then anything that is to come or unknown to them so they keep going back expecting a different outcome but they are let down over and over again because the image they are holding onto is not what was real but what they wanted the ex to be. It is their own expectations of them that is the actual problem they have higher expectations then the ex is able to meet then when they fail to met them they are hurt or disappointed in the one that failed to step up.
It is best to live your life and hope that the ex is able to catch up if they have any interest in you or the family you created together if he doesn't then you have already secured a new life that meets your own needs