So I just felt like I should express some things. I constantly feel like I am drowning in my own tears, like in Disneys Alice In Wonderland, but different. Instead of swimming up to the surface I am constantly trying to break the surface but I am stuck in the same place right below,close enough to see it but not able to reach. Held back by these demons called anxiety,depression,and self loathing. I feel like I am in a cage inside my mind, where everything is dark and no matter how loud I scream no one notices me. I’m left unheard, unnoticed. Banging against the confines of my mind unable to escape, and sometimes, I can hear it.The voices telling me how awful I am, how ugly, how stupid, how pathetic. Sometimes it makes me angry,sometimes sad. The worst feeling though, is the fear. The terrifying darkness everywhere around me while I'm being chased around my own mind. Cornered by the demons I call mental issues. It terrified me so much when I was little I built up mental barriers. I built walls to keep others away for multiple reasons, but the most relevant to this rant is because I wanted to keep my insanity a secret.Thank you for reading.
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I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this. I know how hard all of those can be. It may not /seem/ like you aren't being heard, but you are. You really are and there are people how there who care about you. I also hate the fear, and it takes a while of experimenting and practicing ways to make that feeling go away, but know it /does/ get better. It may never go away, but it'll get better. I'm here for you :)
1 Heart