So, I'm having all kinds of anxiety today. It all just came

So, I'm having all kinds of anxiety today. It all just came flooding back after getting a message from H. He said he was coming over with the cops sometime this week to retrieve the riding lawnmower from the garage. I told him a couple weeks ago that it's not here. He obviously doesn't believe me. When he left to move in with the OW, he left it behind. I didn't think he was ever going to come back. The problem is, his cousin actually owns it and when the cousin moved, he had nowhere to store it, so he gave it to us. It's been in my garage for a couple years. H has told me he was going to send me money to help out with bills & such, but I haven't seen a dime from him. I sold the rider because I needed the money desperately. I tried to tell him that it's gone, but I don't think he believes me, and he is saying that if it's gone he'll have me arrested for theft. I'm dreading that right now. I really don't need this and I'm freaking out over the thought of even seeing him at all. I don't know what to do...

It's a threat. Mine did the same thing over his Xbox. (Also sokd) You won't be arrested. Possession is 9/10 of the law and all that stuff. He left it behind which, as far as property goes, shows abandonment. Don't let him scare you

@Usmcgirl79 Thank you, I’ll try not to!

I'll support you. If you ever need to vent, I'm happy to lend an ear. I've been on both sides of the coin (stay married/divorce/reconciled years later) I may well have experienced things you're going through now.

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@Usmcgirl79 how is that ? my wife left by choice took kids and clothes left furniture behind over a year but I’m with all materials thing and her bills advice?

@TennisPlayer Thank you, I will try :slight_smile:

He can't have you arrested for theft. It'll be hacked out in the property settlement but as for theft you said it was given to "us." You & him so it's community property not his but both of yours. He seems like a rather large asshat and you are better off without him.

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Fret not, they are not going to do anything. The most they will say is that it is a civil matter that needs to be handled in court. I agree with some of the advice above. 9/10, abandoned it and community property.

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I'm really losing it today... H freaked out when he found out the mower is gone. Not only said he was gonna empty my bank account (I made the mistake of letting him use my debit card once for some phone game, so he still has the info, apparently) AND that he called his cousin who is going to come with the police to have me arrested. I called the police when he made the threat about my card, and unfortunately, when I asked if I could be arrested for the mower, they said "it's possible." I am so scared right now, I don't need all this. I'm supposed to work tonight and if I go to jail I'll lose my job. I'll lose everything.

@AndiAqua the lawn.mower was given to you while you were together I assume? You won’t be arrested. Close your bank acct asap. Cops don’t get involved in domestic this. How much was the mower $800-$1,000. And it was 1/2 yours. Unless the cop is a real dick it can be handheld by a ticket to.promise to go to.court. My STBX is dragging me to criminal court tomorrow because the neighbor who said he was going posion her dog did so and she blamed me. It’s just a pain in the ass. I feel.bad for the dog but I hope the STBX gets slow moving incurable painful herpes in her throat. Sounds harsh but she’s trying to destroy me.for no reason. No affair no abuse nothing.

When the police say "it's possible", it really is the same as saying they don't know. Like sitting on the fence so if it turns out they are wrong, you can't call them out.
As for your bank. Don't call the police, call the bank. Request a new card number and tell them not to allow transactions without the physical card. They will have options.
It has been my experience that the police have no power in situations like this. They can't help you.
Now, take care of yourself today. Keep your anxiety down and don't allow your husband's behavior to threaten you. He's being a bulky and you can't allow that.

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I did call my bank this morning. Turns out he did use my card last night. They canceled it, are refunding the money, and are sending a new card. Thank goodness!

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@AndiAqua good for you. Don’t sweat the police thing. He abandoned you and YOUR joint belongings. You needed to pay your bills, you did what you needed to do. He is a bully and is trying to frighten and control you. Do not let him

He's always controlled me. Told me what I could & couldn't do, where I could & couldn't go, made me lose friends....and he still denies it to this day. If he is so in love with this OW he moved in with and happy, why does he keep coming after me? I don't understand it. You'd think he'd want to just wash his hands of me.

@AndiAqua bc he is a sick twisted person that still thinks he has power over you.

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