So it has been a couple of weeks since I kicked my husband o

So it has been a couple of weeks since I kicked my husband out again because he lied to me again. I told him that my only stipulation for me to forgive him was that he tells me the whole truth. Of course he has been lying to me for 7 months. He only gives up the real truth if that is what it is when I have physical proof. It is like he is just rolling with whatever I know at the time. I told him I will not go back to therapy, why should I he keeps lying and I am done. He has continued to go to therapy without me. Now he is doing what the therapist told him to do months ago. She said for him to write me a letter telling me everything that happened. He has been working on this letter for a week now. Wouldn’t you think the truth would not take so long to write? Telling a story you are making up takes awhile. I guess he thinks I will not have any questions. Wrong!

3 Hearts

I am sorry, but I think the trickle truth is the death of it all.

4 Hearts

@Devastatedhusband yup for sure. I just do not understand, why lie? Why dribble out the truth? It just prolongs this mess. He is an idiot! I forgave him, I do not know what his deal is. Even though I have forgiven him it does not mean I will take him back. I have told him that I will put him in the friends zone if I can not trust him. I will not waste the rest of my life living like this. He has until Jan 1st. Then I am moving on. He has lost our children, and his grandkids I am next. I told him was that freak worth it? Maybe she will take him back and divorce her husband…yeah I do not think so. Sucks to be him!

I often wonder why the bits and pieces come out at a time too. I can only imagine how crushed we would be to get all the details at once. It is almost like we are spoon feed the details, taking just what we can digest at the time. Our spouses have hurt us, but I do not think the majority meant to have happen what did happen. They did not seek to hurt us. They hold on to details because they do not want to further hurt us, because among all the chaos, they do love us. I think the day will come when you will look back and understand why it was given to you in pieces. That said, a day has to be chosen where all your questions are answered and no more is discussed. Perhaps approach him with that. Give him the hope that it gets to be done being discussed but he has to answer your questions first. I am sure it hurts him to see you hurt but having that date gets you both what you want.

1 Heart

@GiaEve707 I got all my details at one time. One of my friends got his details trickle truth and also some that was not divulged. I think me getting it all over with in one day is easier. Although I have all the horrid details dancing in my head I knew where I was starting from in the healing process. My buddy knows his wife cheated and he knows he doesn’t know a lot of the details and I think it affects his recovery. We are all different and heal in different ways so who knows which pill is harder to swallow. It SUCKS either way I guess.

The fact he is taking this long to write a letter is telling me he is looking for a way to state this is not his fault and he made a mistake not a choice. Praying for you.

1 Heart

@johnyun20 he has told me he was an idiot and he should have stopped the moment his relationship with this woman crossed the line. I think he is trying to word his letter so it does not sound as bad. But I have told him there will be questions so he will give up the details, which I am sure he has found a way to conveniently leave out. I think it is good therapy for him to write out what he did.

I still don't know all the details, the whens, where, how, how long, etc. let alone any gory details. My h has threatened to divorce me if I don't "let it go and move on." So fu(king hurtful and cold :-(

@faithfulless One should not threaten divorce to force the other to modify his/her actions or behavior. I am sorry he is treating you and your marriage like that.

If he was truly sorry, he could have written this letter with all of the details in a few hours instead of a week. I am sorry you are going though all of this pain. It might be time to consult with an attorney so you can protect yourself.

@Hurt54 yes for sure. We have worked really hard to live where we live. I will not give that up without a fight. My husband can not take care of this place and it makes me so mad that he would risk our future for that witch. Like I said he is an idiot, he knows it. I told him last night when he called me not to call me again until he finishes his letter. We will see if he gets it done. I will not answer my phone until I get the letter.

I know this is a roller coaster of a ride and I am truly sorry you are experiencing this pain, as well. Regarding the letter, I don't know what's going on in your husband's head...I can only speculate which isn't necessarily helpful. I think it's good you have set a deadline so you do not remain in limbo and I hope and pray your husband's heart will be responsive to reconciliation.