So, last Wednesday I spent all flippin day typing in the par

So, last Wednesday I spent all flippin day typing in the parcel numbers of my mother's trust property I inherited, for my legal documents, to file for legal separation. And when I went to print, nothing. The court site stopped working all that night and the following day. This is challenging for my chronic fatigue. So finally I figured out why and now it prints but I have to start over again because the site wouldn't save my information. Today, we had to get a new washing machine because our other one broke down. Suddenly I find a blonde hair in our SUV. So I say to him, "what's this?" He reaches out to take it. Then he says, "oh those darn dogs leaving fur in the car." Mind you this was a long human hair and nothing like the fur on any of our dogs. So then I say, "no actually it looked like a bleach blond sl*t's hair." Then he says to me, I bet you got rid of the hair so I can't prove it was our daughter's hair. The thing is, I gave him the hair and he tells me I got rid of it to hide the evidence it wasn't our daughter's hair. Can you believe this pathetic lying narc loser excuse for a human being? Whatever. It only inspires me to finish what I started, to file and get away from this wh*re.

Perhaps God is answering your prayers. I read one of your posts yesterday about not feeling right about divorce because you didn't have any proof of infidelity. I related to that post so much. My first husband was unfaithful multiple times. Even then, I fought to the end to save the marriage. There is a reason God hates divorce. It is heartbreaking, even in unfaithfulness, which the Bible gives as an acceptable reason for divorce.

However, my second marriage was different. He was abusive but not unfaithful, to my knowledge. I found myself in the same place as you. I wanted out but didn't feel that I had a Biblical grounds for divorce. We separated because I would not subject myself and my kids to abuse. The abuse got worse. Finally, I made the decision to file. It really hard on me. I knew that God did not want us to be abused, but I struggled a lot with actually filing. Even since the divorce was finalized, I struggled about whether or not I did the right thing. Whether I should have just remained separated instead.

Since then, I have had ups and downs but the Lord's hand in my life has been so clear. He has guided me and protected me and has given me great ministries.

I will never advocate for divorce and I will never encourage it. Every one of us has to choose our way. To this day, I don't know if I did the right thing back then but it is in the past now. I have moved forward in this new chapter in my life.

This morning I was reading about Moses in my devotional. He does to Midian after killing the Egyptian. It was in Midian where he rescued Jethro's daughters and one of them became his wife. It was in Midian where the Israelites traveled and Moses encountered the burning bush.

Moses fled to Midian because of his sin. But even then, God was still in control and was using every circumstance to accomplish His purposes. It didn't excuse the murder. But it also didn't prevent God from restoring and using Moses.

Anyway, just some food for thought to pray about. I will pray that the Lord will guide your mind and the decisions you have ahead of you. He walks beside you and He is faithful.

1 Heart

@NevaMae99, thank you for your thoughtful encouragement and for sharing your experiences which I’m sure show you can sympathize. Would I’d had a friend like you when I was married to my emotionally abusive ex. Well I wouldn’t have thought my situation is anything like Moses. But I do think my husband’s emotional abuse has kept me from ministering in the Lord the way you are, freely, now. He faked his Christianity to trick me into marrying him. My first husband was the same. But I blame myself for not being more guarded about choosing a more spiritually equally yoked person. So I guess it’s like an earthly purgatory for me to learn the same lesson (just kidding because I’m not Roman Catholic.) My main reason for not divorcing is, I have to stay on his insurance being a cancer survivor. But since I have nothing but circumstantial evidence of the cheating, and don’t want to remarry or date again at my age (post menopause, no breasts after cancer, and other health issues keep me from being a good quality mate at this point in my life) I really don’t see any reason to divorce. And if he wants a divorce because he wants a younger model, he should have to do the heavy lifting, not me. Let him live with it on his conscience. How I have it set up, with us separated, his concubine will never be able to have a legal domestic partnership or cash in on my years of hard work. I’m good with that and hope it’s not out of revenge I’m thinking this way. I just feel perfectly justified in how I’m doing it. But I can’t say now and then I don’t have doubts of wafful. I really think after being in the divorce group for so long, I have rarely met anyone that didn’t have doubts about divorcing or separating. With my ex it took me several years to be ready to leave emotionally.