dad fell

Some of you all might remember me posting quite a bit ago about my dad and his stroke. Well...this is mostly about that but it's also about my sleeping issues.

It feels like no one understands that I have a sleeping disorder. I can't help that my sleep is really effed up, I hate it. I wish someone would understand but they just ***ume it's me, being...stupid or something. Sometimes it is me being stupid but most of the time, I can't control it. my dad pretty much has to be looked out for 24/7. With just me and my mom actually doing that, it's really hard seeing as she works 3 times a week. My sister doesn't do crap. She's just a useless sack of skin, meat and bones and I hate her. I really do. She doesn't care what happens to our dad, as long as she doesn't have to deal with it.

Lately I've been really messed up on my sleep and I try to get back on a good schedule, which is staying up all night and day and going to sleep early. It doesn't always work and even when it does, it doesn't stick. The point is, I had one of those mornings today and so I was kind of in and out of sleep. My dad's therapist was here and since I'm pretty shy (and I was kinda dressed inappropriately) I stayed in my room until he left. I must have had one of my 'in' moments cause the next thing I knew the therapist guy was gone and I heard a nice big boom kinda. The kind of noise that sounds like someone falling. I ran in the room and he was half on the bed and half off. I tried so hard not to freak out and although it took me awhile, I got him back on the bed.

I just...feel so awful. I hate that I had to have one of these mornings. I hate that my sister doesn't care and just sits around on her lazy *** all day. I hate that I have to take care of him all the time, I get no time for myself and I hate it. I'm glad he's alive and I'm glad to take care of him, I just wish it wasn't so stressful.

Wow that does put a lot of stress on you, but look you are there helping and giving support feed off that and it is a feeling of caring and giving, and in the long haul you will be rewarded for your caring ways .. I know it isn't easy but give him the love he needs and you shall feel his love for you, as far as your sister goes .. I don't want to elaborate on, my heart goes out to you


sometimes u have to get a rota going to care for loved ones mayb u and mom could work out a rota so that u both get time to do things that u would like to do and how about physical exercise and fresh air are u gettin the chance to go out and just spend half an hour in the garden if u cant go out and about

as the care givers u need to make sure that your health is as good as it can be so that u dont fall ill and add to the burdens of the here and now thats happening to u all in time u will find a way to achieve everything that needs to be done but at first its just a mess and u find yourself reacting rather than having a routine

be kind to yourself

love D

Hi Lilys

It is a known fact that it is harder on the caregivers than it is on the person who is being cared for. The stress you are feeling is normal. Don't look at what your sister is not doing, but look at what you are doing. Your sister is going to be who she is and you cannot change her.

My sister, mother and I all cared for my dying father that was never an issue with us. The one thing that I thought about during those sleepless nights and staying up with him was when this is all said and done, I can look back and say I did my part. My brother lived in a different state and once he came in to help for a few weeks and that was it.

I know it is hard to see your father failing in his health but know that it is not going to last forever. Your mother feels the same stress as you. All you two can do is be there for each other and don't resent your sister, it will zap all your energy and make you feel more stress. Lean on God during the hard times and He will help give you and your mother the strength to help your father during this time. Cherish the moments you have with your father for they will be lasting memories that no one can take away from you.

My Prayer are with you and your mom.

I know that its hard. I have been there. But just be glad that you and your mom can take turns. be glad that you can relax and take time for your self when u need it.