So, my great uncle just passed away an hour ago and all I ca

So, my great uncle just passed away an hour ago and all I can think about is leaving the hospital and going on craigslist to find somebody or somebodies to hook up with. It's not even just about the sex, but I just want to be naked and next to somebody. I just want to curl up in some guy's arms and sleep. I see that as extremely selfish and promiscuous on my part. Ever since I got here I thought "dang, nor I can't cuddle up with Ben tonight. Maybe I should just head back." Good thing I curbed my selfishness since the whole "3-4 days left to live" was clearly inaccurate. Am I that lonely that I can't even experience any event without wishing I was just that tv girl cuddled up with the hot guy?

2 Hearts

Sorry to hear about your uncle. Were you close?

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear of your family member passing away. May he rest in peace. I'm not gonna lie. At some point in our lives we all go through that specific loneliness, which the only cure to is, well, sex. Don't think you're selfish or anything like that. Its only normal. The effect of a family member's leave is very hard on anyone, and you are no exception. Don't be insecure about it.

1 Heart

@t9a14a I agree with what white_black411 is posting. Yes, we all needed comfort, to be loved, and sex, when we're lonely..... But when SEX, becomes an addiction, that's certainly something else. Your uncle just died, and you wanted sex, not from someone, you know Anyone on Craig's list, a hook up, or as the as the young people say "a booty call." There's no insecurity call here, just Sex! You wanted to be the TV's girl cuddled up with a hot guy? It's certainly a fantasy for you. Is it really loneliness, but a sexual addiction? What about the ramifications that promiscuity brings STD's etc.. Also what about your emotional turmoil when you "hooked up?" Think carefully before you indulged in this promiscuous behaviour because after thrill, what's left? A beautiful young lady with emotional issues? Is it worth it? You are worthy! You deserved a better Life than this! Please seek professional help, a therapist. Let your doctor recommended one for you. Be strong the best is yet, to follow..... SG friends are here, to support, and be supported.

3 Hearts

@Irma I don’t have the esteem to consider myself beautiful or worthy of anything. So that’s out the window. I use protection when I get into my sexual binges. I’ve already got that as an action plan from my therapist, and we’ve more life-threatening issues to tackle than an sti or anything…

Desire for sex or just physical comfort isn't that unusual of a grief response I don't think. Try not to do anything unhelpful for you, but also don't beat yourself up for your brain wanting to feel better in a more basic way when your emotions are occupied with grief.

2 Hearts

@Northguy Thanks, but from therapy skills I’m supposed to use, I get caught between deciding to use them or throwing them out. Eventually, I spend so much time arguing with myself that it gets too late for me to find a hookup, and I go to sleep. It just sucks when I use mindfulness and recognize what I’m thinking and wanting at times.

@surfgirl that’s cool for you, but my uncle and your husband are different situations. I wasn’t married to my uncle…

I'm sorry to hear about your uncle. My prayers are with you. I was just thinking that maybe the death is a trigger to want sex. It's a loss..an emptiness. It triggers the thoughts of the end, of dying, and of being alone..isolated. Sex is a connection with another person. Physical touch..someone touching you reassures you that you matter. Makes you feel alive. You said that you want to curl up in a guys arms. It gives the feeling of security..it's calming. If that's how your brain connects the pieces so be it. You still get to choose weather or not you're going to act on those thoughts. Just a thought..

1 Heart

@Toomanyfeelings Thanks. It’s just I don’t ONLY get the urge during specific events. It just was that icky feeling of trying to separate mourning from emotional/sexual need. Like masturbating in your grandparents bedroom or something.

I'm a bit interested on how can you just simply hook up with somebody without any emotion or feelings?

@R18 I have too much emotion/feelings which keeps me single and hurt after the hookup, but at least somebody was horny enough to want to touch me and be around me for 20 minutes. If I’m lucky, I sometimes get those guys that still feel the need to pre-romance and they’ll ask questions about me as if they actually give a crap about me and wanna know about my life. Or, I’ll get those hookups that call me beautiful and sexy and all that other crap during the midsts of sex.

@t9a14a You posted that you used protection when you go into sexual binges. I supposed you mean @Itjusthurts2512 Why don't you tried to get her back? Yes, tried to wooed her again. Yes, liked you'll were, when both of you got together. It's possible, anything is posibble. You have a lots of love for your wife, proved to her that you have changed for the best. Be hopeful. condoms, but that's not 100% fully
guaranteed........ Let's get the Big Picture here, what about AIDS? What if you contacted AIDS? Don't you get it? Sexual binges? How many men you have sex with, when you have these sexual binges? So if somebody is willing to touch you, and be with you, you have sex with them, for you don't have self esteem? I get it, but this promiscuous behaviour have to Stop! For you are so uhappy deep down inside, so full of pain, and despair....... I wanted to Hug you, and tell you it's going to be alright...... Also I wanted @Itjusthurts2512 Why don't you tried to get her back? Yes, tried to wooed her again. Yes, liked you'll were, when both of you got together. It's possible, anything is posibble. You have a lots of love for your wife, proved to her that you have changed for the best. Be hopeful. to tell you are Beautiful! You are Worthy! Whoever hurted you in your past, your parents, or your loved ones, I am so sorry these people were supposed to loved and protected you...... I wanted you to heal, that broken person you are inside of you. I also wanted you to find someone, a good man who will loved, and cared for you. Yes, you are WORTHY! You deserve Love, you should have the Best! My thoughts, and prayers are with you. SG friends are here, to support, and be supported. Remember you are not alone, I cared for you, and so do SG friends. I don't want you to hurt no more...... Please continued to receive therapy. Big Hugs my friend.

@Irma I’m quite confused as I think you were replying to more than one post or to the wrong post.