So my WH is home now and we're communicating again because h

So my WH is home now and we're communicating again because he broke up with his OW for the second time and this time agreed to change his phone/email (after being proven wrong that blocking Her phone would be enough). This is his second night home. He's in the basement probably crying. This is really hard. I think it's good to just let him cry it out, right? I mean, that's what I had to do for weeks on end after D-day. And then things got better as I found my own strength. I know that as a betrayed spouses it can be hard to say this, but I want him to be able to get support and counseling as an unfaithful spouse. Just like I have as a betrayed spouse. I feel like he's so focused on his shame right now that he's finding it very difficult to see the support that he actually does have (me obviously, his family, and even his friends who he thinks hate him). And that by taking positive actions (changing phone/email), held gradually rebuild trust/respect. How do you all get through these early stages of recovery? Should I try to find counseling for him? He has a psychiatrist he's been seeing once a week about but won't see him during this holiday season, during this fresh breakup period... We're both at such different stages of our individual healing...

1 Heart

Give him this book.

How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful

http://www.amazon.com/Help-Your-Spouse-Heal-Affair/dp/145055332X/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1450573472&sr=1-2&keywords=infidelity

It's good timing i think since he seems to regret what he is doing.

1 Heart

@darketernal thank you! This sounds perfect.

@skhc yes, i do understand this. But yes it blows nonetheless. What complicating things is the antidepressant he’s on. He’ll probably have to try a different one cuz this one seems to be causing mood swings and severe side effects. And affecting his decision making. Trying to be patient but it’s so hard…

Yes he's sad about her not you ..I hate to say it but only think of you not him. He's messed up in a selfish way not because of you .. be strong for you don't let him in to your world. Be strong for you not him he messed up and deserves his pain ... live your life

@Fooled I think you may be right. I just woke up cuz he just left the house. Didn’t even wake me up except with the sound of the garage door. Called him. Said he needed to be alone. He said he’s not hurting himself and not going to see Her. As if I was bothering him at nearly 5am. He was sleeping in the basement. I told him to stay at his friend’s place (which he’s been renting anyway) and not to come back till I’m ready to have him back at the house.

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