So, the no contact rule. I have a question and the answer is probably obvious. My NP husband and I have a dog together. When I told him I was leaving him, he said he is going to get visitation rights to see the dog. He is already sending me "funny" texts and just telling me general things he is up to (he is out of town now at work). I know he is trying to weasel his way back to our "normal" spot. The addicted part of me gets some relief from this because when I think about packing up and moving away from him I get so much anxiety! I used to be able to pack up and go just moving on total adrenaline but in the last two years of our ten year relationship, my adrenaline level doesn't give me strength anymore, it gives me high anxiety! I am sweating and nervous and scared. I have been self medicating with alcohol for half of our relationship. I am very dependent on it to calm down. Four weeks ago I twisted my foot while walking and I have been in a boot ever since! Do I sound like a hot mess?! Lol. I kinda am. I contacted him and told him I needed him to come home and help me (he is a pilot and was out of town). We have no family where we live and I didn't know how I was going to drive or walk my dog etc. his response?? He got angry that I would have the audacity to ask him to come home because of such a stupid thing I did to myself. My bottom line is, I am trying to find my strength to leave and I am in the midst of my pity party with my foot, and my general life. Help.
Wait, what was my question?? Ha. I guess no visitation for the dog? I think I've answered my own question. :/
I might be able to help! Got kids in the hood? Under driving age? They'll do just about anything for a few bucks. They'd walk him? There are dog walking services in most cities. If they don't show up on google call vets and groomers. Often those folks drop of cards there. I say no contact. Get help elsewhere.
Thank you! I do have a dog walking service....it was just getting expensive. We live in a downtown area and it was hard for me with all the people on the sidewalks. The dog has to go out several times a day two blocks away to a green area. I think I've got the walking under control now.....it was initially one of my biggest frets though.
No contact is no contact... Not even if you fall and need a rescue. I did that once and she literally camped in my apartment. I was back in her grasp before I even recovered. So, no visitation rights, block his number and forget he exists. He can go to court if he has a case/right to see the dog.
@debbi229
You got that right, Debbi - my soon-to-be-ex (not soon enough) - is being a total dick…He thinks he’ll get away with all of it…what a turd.
if you got away.. then you are the lucky one..
First week without my narc was terrible. Second week... Oh My God! I can breathe without someone smacking me! Hold on, I can stay in bed as long as I want? I can eat anything I want? I don't have to ask permission before going out? (yes, I am an adult... sad what she did to me). It's sick what they do to us. Joining my voice to tabbylady, you can do it!
@Anas76
Love it! Not always…cried, screamed, panic attacks, couldn’t breathe…It goes up and down, but I am glad to have control over the contact he can have with me. I changed my phone number three times, won’t call unless I am at the office on speaker phone, and text him from my laptop. I hated that he demanded a divorce, but he’s in for a shocker once HE gets served…BASTARD.