So this is my first time on here, and I could really use the

So this is my first time on here, and I could really use the help of someone who understands. It's kind of a long story, but it would be greatly appreciated if I got a few it goes...

Four months ago, I became a freshman in college. I was awarded to play the sport I love on an academic scholarship at a school I love. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half, but sadly, he was back home.. now 8 hours away from me. When we started dating, we were both virgins and so both being each others firsts was a big deal, we waited until we were in love. Unfortunately, after 3 months of being away, the distance was getting to us. We broke up and it was one of the hardest things I ever had to deal with. He was my first love, and now I was a single college student. I didn't know how to be single..I didn't know how to act or who to talk to. I look to my roommates for help and they assured me everything will be fine. Over the next few weeks, I could not stop thinking of my ex boyfriend, and I ended up coping with this loss the wrong way. I started drinking, and with this I thought having sex would help me get over the loss. Unfortunately, over the past month, it wasn't with one guy...or two....but four. Since my break up I had sex with four guys, all unprotected. With my broken heart and mind, I didn't think anything of it, until my roommate became concerned saying I could have caught something from one of those guys. At this point, not only am I sad, but scared. My roommate became very disappointed in my decisions, and so did I. I wish I could take it all back. I am now on Christmas break and I went to the doctor to get tested for any STD's. Initially, it seemed like I was lucky, the doctor did not think anything was going to be wrong. I thanked the Lord and was so relieved that nothing happened, until today. During lunch with a friend, I got a call from my doctor. She says "I am sorry for the bad news, but you have Chlamydia and Type 2 Herpes...". I was in shock. All of a sudden I thought my life was going to end. I was never the girl who was "getting around", and now after a terrible month of regret, I get a virus that will affect me for the rest of my life. So, I informed all of the guys I had sex with (one of whom I am very interested in), and I will have to go back to college after break and see them all face to face...embarrassing. I originally was just a new freshman with no baggage, but I suddenly feel like somehow everyone knows. Tonight, I had to tell my mom. I knew that she would be disappointed in my decisions, but she of course informs me that everything will be OK, and that it could be a lot worse.

I just need to hear these things from someone who knows what I am going though. I feel like this virus now describes me and is written on my forehead. I feel like its a label. I feel like my self confidence has been shot down. I am disappointed in myself knowing that a month ago, I was clean. I feel like less of a person compared to everyone else, and I need someone to talk to. How do you cope with this virus? Does it affect your everyday life activities? How much? Will it affect my athleticism with my sport?

I would love to hear any helpful feedback!
Thanks for taking the time to read!

Hello i just wanna let you know that im here to help and support you. Lets suooprt each other so we can talk 1on 1

How did you tell your mom? I'm so scared to tell anyone. And I have to tell my BF of 2 years this week. I don't know what to say. I don't want him to leave me. It's tough to hear but it's life and just trying to research it will help you learn more. I'm confused about also. I was positive for HSV 1 but now they say you can have it both oral and genital. I have meds that my doctor gave me but I have never had a an outbreak that I'm aware of. I don't want to pass it to my BF if he doesn't have it but we always have unprotected sex so idk he might already. He will have to get checked. Everyone here is pretty helpful. I'm here to talk it you want. It's a tough situation and I'm just thankful I'm not alone.

@Marie2015 Well my mother and I are pretty much best friends. I tell her mostly everything, but in this situation I told her it was only one guy, not four. I figured I am already going to tell her bad news, that it didn’t matter. I called her after work and told her, and then she came to my room and talked to me once she was home. As for your boyfriend, that is a tough situation. As awkward as I was telling the four guys, they all were appreciative and said they will go to the doctor. With this, I am sure they will tell at least some of their friends and I will be really embarrassed when I go back to college. As of the outbreaks, I didn’t notice anything until today after my doctor told me I had it. A few days ago, I thought I had a yeast infection so I took Monistat, but now I am realizing it was probably my Herpes. I really appreciate you getting back to me and I am here to support you as well!


Well now. Welcome to support groups.
So, you had a breakout? And do you know what the values were for the test? Did it show positive for IgG or/and IgM antibodies?? Did they swab or blood test?

@Sanguine101 hey sorry what’s IgG and IgM??

Welcone to the group. I say yes you made a mistake and you will make many in your life and hopefully learn from them . But you cannot beat yourself up about it because you can't change what has happened. I think this will make you a better person and be more selective in your choices with your sex life. I would like to say though if you haven't told any of those guys that you should if you trust them not to tell anybody but they may not know they have herpes. but I'd say if they had chlamydia they probably would know. but you don't want them to spread it to other girls but may probably already have mind You. but just do some research on herpes and understand it and be able to realise what it means for you in your life and the risks and precautions you need to take going forward. you can still have all the things that you've always wanted and there is no need to feel like your life is over. I get being younger probably a thousand thoughts going through your mind about your future but remember that there are many people with this virus and they do have relationships and have children so you can have that too

@lisajd Thanks for your response! This is definitely something I have learned from. I knew the risks before it happened and I really wish I could go back and change what happened…but I somehow just have to get over the fact that I now have to deal with it. I just feel like its now “baggage” for me, and I am just constantly thinking that everyone else knows, though I know they don’t. I told all of the guys ass soon as I found out. Even though I am going to feel EXTREMELY awkward when I go back to school, I know they appreciated me telling them. I wish I would have taken things slower, because I actually really like one of the guys, and now this is a really big situation that came between us and we just started to get to know each other. I came into college as the innocent girl with a boyfriend back home, and now I feel like I have ruined everything. I really do not want a name for myself, because I am not that type of person, I just made a really big mistake. I am hoping to make things better when I go back, I just hope that none of the guys are shallow enough to tell their friends about it…(I go to a small college). Anyways, I have been doing research as well and I am really glad that I can still accomplish everything I have always wanted. I just have to continue to look at the ways to prevent an outburst when you start to feel one coming along.

I could tell by your post you are a very strong woman. I have no doubt you'll make herpes and your life your btch. You got this girl.

@Bellabeth Thank you!! I am trying to just tell myself “it could be worse”…and I know it definitely could! It’s just one of those things you think won’t happen to you!

Im 48 yrs old and have learned whats important in life and not to complain. Always worse off people than me and thats what i think of when i feel sorry for myself. Dont get me wrong i do wish things were different but i cant change it so need to get on with it.

@lisajd Thank you, I know that this is the mentality that I need to have…it might just take some time! Never thought I would be 18 and have to worry about carrying an STD with me everyday, especially because I was so careful my whole life, I just had one terrible and dark month that showed the lowest version of myself.

I understand my husband told me 16 years ago he didn't love me we stay together as friends he helps me money wise I turn to food and gain a lot of weight one day I got tired of being alone started losing weight and getting attention in 16 years of nothing I like that guys wanted me and made the mistake of sleeping with one without protection I slept with others using protection the one time I went without protection I got herpes I thought my life was over but my husband stood by my side we are still friends and he still helps me but I have been dating one guy who has herpes also and I am feeing happy again so we all make mistakes no one is perfect but you have to forgive yourself just like you I made bad choices but I learned from them and I have been Abel to move on I went 16 years without being with a man and when I had enough of being alone that's when I got into trouble I haven't had herpes that long but it has gotten easier to deal with the guy I am seeing has herpes to and it helps I know it is hard but you are not alone

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