I actually made some new friends recently that i met through my sister, she has known them for a couple of years and hangs with them a lot in the summer. They are a really accepting and cool group of people but they drink and smoke reefer every single day, i don't mind doing it every once in a while but i don't want it to be my life! I really like them as people but i don't want to live that lifestyle all the time where i get messed up everyday. I have tried going over there and just staying sober but its not any fun when everyone else is messed up and you're not. Recently i have stopped hanging out with them as much and my sister seems to think that i don't want to go over there all the time because of my social anxiety. She says i haven't gotten any better and its bringing me down :/ I get so confused and mixed up in my own head.. am i just making up reasons not to go over there?
Hi Americanbeauty, you are absolutely not making up excuses not to go over there, but have an incredibly legitimate reason as to why you do not want to be in that environment. I have lived in several cities and made new friends, in addition to people I already knew, in each city. I always had to make a decision between belonging to a fun new group of people and honoring who I am and my values. In the last city where I resided, I met a group of girls who were so fun, but all they did was party 5-6 nights per week. This grew to be exhausting and I didn't have the energy to keep up. They would always drink a ton and it just wasn't me. I had bigger goals for myself and my life and I didn't want to party my life away. So, I started to distance myself and eventually stopped spending time with them all together. There is nothing healthy about sitting around and drinking [plus smoking] every night. I am sure that you want more for yourself and more for your life. As well, explain what you are feeling and thinking to your sister. Let her know exactly why you don't want to hang out with them any longer. It's not that you're passing judgement, but it's not for you. She loves you and will understand.
There are so many amazing people out there and you will make new friends that suit your lifestyle and where you would like to be in your life.
Please keep sharing. Wishing you all of the very best and sending you lots of positive energy.