Perhaps one day I will begin to listen to people who are on my side, and things they tell me.
what I hate SO much about this stupid eating disorder is the messed up body image, and my mind. I see a person walking down the street who is skinner than I am, and Im instantly get angry, and hate them...all because they are thinner than me. How sick? what the heck did they do to me? I cant be in the same room with people skinner than me. Im ALWAYS distracted from what ever is going on because of this person. I become filled with ED thoughts. Its so annoying. Especially when in church. I cant take the fact that I cant focus and pray and be involved in whats going on because of someone in front of me who I may think is thinner than me! I HATE this!!!! I also hate that I cant go out places because I HATE seeing these people...and I feel that because Im not thin like these people....and I see myself as HUGE, I think everyone is looking at me, and talking about me. I also hate that right now this is keeping me from doing things....enjoying life.....and here I thought recovery meant I would enjoy life again.....so whats the point?