Some advice

Hello all,

I have a question for you and I'd love your opinion...

Some days I eat low-cal during the day, and once I figure out how much (in calories) I've actually consumed, I feel guilty and try to shove it all in a night time (sometimes consuming almost half my daily intake at that time).
But here's the problem. It happens a lot, and I find myself feeling sick afterward because of it...it's basically like binging, except part of me has convinced myself that is not the case because I'm still within my daily intake. So it's pretty much like I listen to the anorexia throughout the day, and then PART of the bulimia at night (no purging, though sometimes the thoughts do come up)....

Some my question to you: if it comes to the evening and I haven't eaten enough...do I force myself to get it all in, or do I listen to my hunger, and eat till I'm full and leave it at that?

Thanks so much for your input...
Paige xoxo

Hey special...
Hmm... This is a tough one. I want to tell you to stop counting calories, but i know you probably won't listen... Okay... I would give in to your hunger but stop when you are full and leave it at that if you can. I think (and it's been years since I "recovered" from an eating disorder, that as you move forward, your appetite will increase to a more normal level and you will end up eating the required amount of calories without worrying. It's wonderful that you are eating, so let yourself do it, but don't make yourself sick over it. Now, if you are saving calories during the day so that you can binge at night, that's a different story. It's like convincing yourself you will eat that other sandwich half later in the day when you know full well that you won't. Examine exactly why you are so short on calories when you get to your evening meals, and then talk about it with your therapist. I'm hoping you have one. If you don't, GET ONE. You know what? This is going to get better. You are going to kick this. It's easier than you think. Just give yourself permission sweety.
Eat, drink, and be merry. :):)
Thistle

You are not alone. I am guilty of doing this too.

The advice that was given to me was:

1) Prepare your meals in advance according to your required calorie intake. You should have 3 to 5 meals prepared for the day.

2) If you get that urge when you are not suppose to eat, then drink two large glasses of water. This should quell that URGE to binge.

Another thing that I found that really helps is to get rid of everything that is pre-made and/or fast to prepare. I now force myself to cook everything on or in the stove. This way when I begin to cook I start off with my two glasses of water. It’s kind of hard not to do this since the sink is right next to the stove.

Then, by the time food has been prepared I am no longer interested in INHALING what I just created. The only hard part to this is not to cook more than a properly portioned meal/serving.

If you find something that works for you, please share. :)

I totally get it; I've been guilty of the same thing. One thing to think about (although I know it's NOT ideal): get some high-calorie supplements (Boost-Plus, stuff like that) and other calorie-dense foods (peanut butter, ProBars), and incorporate those into your night-time eating, so that perhaps you won't feel as sick. And, of course, work on changing those habits. One thing to examine is the types of foods you eat--if you're getting things that are fat-free, lo-cal, or lite, start getting the "regular" versions. That'll help, too. I know change is hard, but maybe if you use some stop-gap measures as you work on breaking those habits, it could help in the short term until you reach your longer term goals. Best of luck!

i have the EXACT same problem as you---exact! i have not much or any hunger in the day(weird) and i get sooo hungry at night--and like you--i have to force myself to get in those calories--which sometimes i am not successful cuz then it gets too late, but i try...or then, i binge at 11;00 at night--which i know is no good for my body.... i really understand... i think our hunger cues have not quite kicked in....

i think---we need REMINDERS to eat more in the day--therefore we will eat better at nighttime....

i need reminders---so if i forget to eat throught the day i have something to kick me back into check. i swear i wish i had a bell to go off or something--ha...

and also, yes planning ahead of what meals you will eat.

if we eat more conisitently through the day----we will be less hungry at night.

and about the question of whether you should stop when you are full at night/ or get the calories in---gosh, i wish i had an answer to that one. that is my question i am working on right now. i would say--try to get as much as you can in--and do better the next day...

thanks so fot bringing this up--this was my exact same question in my head!

love
maureen

Special, The best advice I can give you here is what I do every day. First of all, I've noticed that if I allow myself to eat a big breakfast (literally my biggest meal of the day) that I'm not as hungry throughout the afternoon and evening. I'm a huge planner and really do well planning my meals the night before and getting them ready. For me, this eliminates the opportunity to think about food and when I do get hungry, I know what I'm having next. This also is a way to incorporate a lot of variety into my meals which I also find helps relieve cravings that I use to have.
I eat -- times a day which is about every --- hours. For myself, I base my daily diet off of a certain amount of calories and then allow myself --- more than I've planned....depending on how much I'm doing in a day.
I also am a personal trainer and have helped a lot of my clients with their diets (keep in mind they are not restricting calories, just eating what is good for their body size and goals). Let's say a client of mine should eat around --- calories a day. What I tell them to do is to divide --- which is -- then to divide -- for --. So, they make sure to eat -- calories at breakfast, lunch, and dinner and then to have-- snacks that are around --- calories.
I know that counting calories isn't for everyone but for me, it has really helped me stay on track... I don't live or die by them but I do plan my meals around them knowing that if I'm eating healthy, clean foods that I'm ok to go over on calories if I'm still hungry.
I hope this helps! Like I said, I know my method isn't for everyone but it might help!

Jamie

Jamie,
Thank you for your input. I agree that being scheduled and somewhat rigid in your calorie intake can be a great tool for recovery. I am a huge fan of the benefits of meal planning! Because we do not allow numbers in posts, I had to edit the numbers out, because there are many times that this can be 'triggering'.
However, I do think you made some good points, and I hope you understand the need to be more general in terms us using numbers, etc.
Thank you!! Jan ♥

yes jaime--it was quite triggering for me also, which confused me about the number of calories i should take in, and i thought my 'planned number' was too high cause your mentioned number was too low for anyone to --live...

so i did get confused and questioned my meal plan. so jan, im glad you edited it out. thanks..

also--im not being harsh or mean to you by saying this jaime---so many times i have been honest and said something was triggering and that person got really really mad at me. im just being honest and not being harsh or anything, trying to help here..and you did make some good points...

christa… not harsh at all. sorry about the numbers. i was just giving an idea of one way that might help, obviously we all know one way may work for someone and not another. i know for me, having things planned out, eliminating the pressure of figuring out meals on the spot, has really helped me.

J

Maureen,
Please do what you know YOUR body needs. Your body has been showing you how much you need to truly be free from this.
Jamie,
The numbers can be so misleading, because everyone is so unique, and you probably realize that seeing numbers brings up comparisons etc.
Moving on ladies....Notice-Choose-Act...for what YOU need!
HUGS..Jan ♥

yes jan, i know…yesterday–another example of me messing up my caloric level again, going too low–even when i am trying hard to add calories. ugh i dont get it. im adding and trying–but the numbers–mustnt be adding up right—or the food im eating isnt filling enough–or im not enough of the food, but im trying to . i ate yet again at midnight -----but i counted the number that i felt ok with --the number of calories i added at nighttime and will put this in my daytime needs instead… like paige --i need to eat more in the day!

im so confused… i think this will be all worked out once i get that calorie counter, but i havent had the time to ge ti–i will. i keep thinking i will not mess up, i do–even when i try–and it irritates me. somehow im still below my ‘number’ and my body is getting really really mad at me! oh boy. but im trying! this time --ill do it right…sigh…

why cant this be easy???
most people eat too much in a day–i cant even eat enough to meet my own–calorie needs! sigh…

thanks jan, yes i umm will move on…ha

love
maureen

Thank you for all the advice everyone!
I talked to my counselor and got some good news about my weight and she suggested I eat more throughout the day and eat to my hunger...what I expected. I hope to overcome this soon!!

Paige xoxo

The best advice I can give you is the advice the my dietician gives me (because I have the same issue). Plan plan plan!!!! The night before, make sure that everything is prepared for the next day. Have everything ready and in containers to take to work/school. This takes all the thinking/feeling out of it. It becomes routine. Sounds easy, but it is not. Good luck to you. I know it is an uphill climb, but I have faith in you.

yes paige i agree with your counselor-- i also need to eat more through the day---i will have to use post its to remind me if i have to! something has to get through to my brain here...it just doesnt want to ---accomadate to what i want. it is like--a civil war--consciously i want to eat through the day but i think ED doesnt and wants to keep me from doing that. consciously i want to get over this but subconscioulsy part of me wants to hold on to ED. but i really dont! it is weird...so i fight that every day....sigh....
and also, there are the messed up hunger cues....hey ---we are trying hard, so we have to pat ourselves on the back for that!

love
maureen

Hey Maureen :)

I think the best thing you can do is ask yourself WHY you want to hold onto your ED. What is it doing for you?
Make a pros and cons list of the good and bad it puts in your life. Look at past situations when it was strong...was it worth listening rather than enjoying yourself?
I know, until recently, I had the same problem as you. I wanted to hold onto my ED...it coI got rid onvinced me that it would keep me "safe"...if I got rid of it, I'd lose control of eating and I'd get big and lose my conscious for being healthy. But I now know that is not the case now.
My eating disorder has always held me back. Stopped me at restaurants from ordering what I want. Stopped me from enjoying activities to my fullest because I was too tired. Kept me from swimming because I hated showing my body. Made me obsess over food instead of doing homework or talking to friends...even stopped me from spending time with others in fear of the foods they'd have.
I don't want that anymore.

Hunger cues are so hard too. I've found that since giving up on Coke Zero, my appetite, as well as stomach, has been much better. Do you drink a lot of caffeine? It usually ruins one's appetite, so if you do drink a lot, maybe try cutting back. I'm also looking at buying higher cal foods so that, while I'm still getting used to hunger constantly, I'm still getting my nutrients.
But you know what helps the most? Not eating so much at night. I find when I do that,and eat a proper snack till I'm full and eat healthy throughout the day, my hunger is regulated the next. But if I eat a lot at night, my stomach is uncomfortable, and the thought of food in the morning isn't the most desired. A vicious cycle in a way.

But I know we can all get out of this :) I'm working on it!!

Keep up the good work all!!
Paige xoxo

hi special,

hey thanks so for that, that was kind. you know what? i really do NOT want the ED at all. it is my subconscious that wants to hold on to it. i really dont know why---cause i depsise ED. it really is something i want to get to the bottom of with my therapsit. why does my subconscious want to hold on??? i dont know. it is odd. i do not want ED at all. seriously. i dont know what the hell to think why my subconscious still wants it. it really angers me. i want to be free 100% really badly, i do not know why 1% of my subconscious does not want to let go. i almost died a torturous hell like death from ED. i am crippled now from ED. i do not want it in my life--and no, there are no 'pros' to it, only cons.

in my mind i desperatly want it out. and i want that teeny tiny bit of me that wants to hold on--to get out of my life. i do. it is ruining my mental state...i do not want ED anywhere near me-and when my therapist comes back, i will tell her about this and get to the botoom of why subconsciously i want to hold on a little.

i have to fight this crap every day. i swear this hell is like herion , no doubt. just as deadly too...

but guess what? i will win. ED will not win over me.

and yes i have to FORCE myself to eat during the day--FORCE IT! i dont even care if i have to shove it down my throat. really . this is annoying to me. i have to remeber to eat during the day. this night eating crap is really bad.

no, i do not drink any caffine. hopefully, our appetities will come back in time--mine has really gone up. so thats good.

hey, thanks for your care--special, and no i wotn let ED beat me.

love
maureen

The issue of 'normal' hunger cues is always an interesting one. That is why a meal plan is so important. It does take some people quite some time to be able to separate the emotional piece from the physical, so it's very hard to discern true hunger. Our bodies do heal, so please hang onto the structure of the meal plan as long as needed, but trust that those 'normal' cues will return...NEVER GIVE UP!! Jan ♥

Just wanted to let you all know I've been doing better with making meals plans! It's almost a relief to know I don't have to stuff myself at night time!! And you were right too! Meal plans help me get more variety into my day!

Thanks all for the advice :)

Paige xoxo

yes i did much better yesterday --whew--

no nighttime binging ---wow! yea im happy.
i ate a GOOD amount of calories in the day yesterday--even shocking my fiancee! ha! he was like---hey you ate half my food! ha...
but this is the weird thing--i was still hungry after i ate a lot, which makes me think that maybe i wasnt getting my calorie quota for a while...so i think it may be normal, and my hunger will regulate itself in time. it is hard to regulate your hunger when it is messed up.

oh hey! im hungry---in the monring--hey it worked! i never get hungry in the morning--wow...

thats cool,

hey thanks guys for helping and paige thanks so much --you really helped me!

im glad we are getting out eating on track!
love
maureen

christa.... it's a great feeling being hungry when it feels like you should be (i.e. the morning)! way to go.... it's great how even something that seems like the smallest thing can be such a motivator! keep it up during the weekend and remember how good your body feels getting on track!

happy labor day weekend to all!

Jamie