Someone help I am 20yr old female who has been suffering wit

Someone help I am 20yr old female who has been suffering with hocd nearly two years now. I don't know how to get better. I believe if I go to a therapist they'll just say I'm gay. Which will probably make me commit suicide I don't want to have to give up my life. I love my boyfriend and want to get married and have children. So why won't the thoughts and groinal responses go away????

1 Heart

Ps do you people get disgusting thoughts constantly . Like for example u can't even look at another women without the thought of u going down on them pops into your head then you get a groinal response then u panic about it for about an hour. God help me. I've always been attracted to men. Always. The only romately gay thing I've ever done was watch lesbian porn when I was a teenager. But I use to watch all kind of stuff guess I was just horny. That's the most annoying thought.

@Becks1995 watching lesbian porn at a young age is normal. Even if you do get aroused by it that is not what makes you gay. The thoughts you are having are intrusive, they are not wanted. What you have to understand that it is ocd doing these things, not you! When you look at a women these thoughts come to you because its like you are expecting some response to prove that you are not lesbian. The arousal is the anxiety that you get cause its like you are hoping that you dont get a response. If another thought comes up, just be like ‘yeah watever,’ or even say hi to the ocd (this helped me a lot) its to reasure yourself that it is ocd. I hope this helped.

I never watched lesbian porn and now my HOCD tells me it's because I was always lesbian and never wanted to experience the truth. I'm laughing and my stomach is hurting, it's like a mix of period pain and pain from laughing so much. I'm sorry but I just had to type this

listen ive had hocd for 4 years now and ive been there done that worried that the therapist would tell me im gay or in denial its all your mind trying to keep you locked in torture you just have to say im done with feeling like this and gay or not im gonna try and get a therapist and tell them the truth and i just got the courage about a week ago to go to a therapist and tell her the truth and she said right away i wasnt gay and that it was ocd and im sure the same will be for you if you go to one i also landed a job so things are looking up for me dont get me wrong im not "cured" but im able to handle the thoughts and anxiety i bit more i was also put on anti depressants which are somewhat helping i wish you the best hang in there we are all here for you

1 Heart

Thanks guys! I still feel full of doubt do my symptoms sound like hocd to yous ?like do my thoughts sound like yours

@Becks1995 I cannot stress how almost exactly your thoughts sound like mine.

Like surely if I was that way. I'd want to be and want to be with women. But I don't I love my boyfriend with all my heart he's my best friend I've been with him nearly three years

@bellarose11

@Becks1995 yeah you are exactly right! If you were gay you would want to be, simple as that. You want to be with your boyfriend! Instead of searching for clues why you think you might be gay, search for clues why you might ne straight! This helped me a lot!

That's a good idea thank u I've never thought of that before. I read online coming out videos are good erp and I watched some and they freaked me out one girl was saying she never knew til she was 18. That's the same year my OCD developed and one said she use to pray to god every night that she wasn't gay: I've done the same thing !!! @bellarose11

@Becks1995 no problem :slight_smile: i have never done erp or watched coming out videos. If the people that came out and did not want to be gay but were gay, it was simply because they would have been afarid of coming out to the public, telling their friends and familys in fear of not being accepted. This is not the same as not wanting to be gay cause you are scared of being gay. You are scared because it does not feel like you, does not feel real even though there may be some days were you may feel like it is you! (I get those days) i am not wanting to do erp because i am only a 15 yr old girl and i will only do it if my phsycologists suggests it for me. I suggest you to stop looking for reassurance. I am nit too sure if you should stop erp though cause I have never done it and dont know much about it. If you feel like erp is working though than continue. But i still think you should seek proffesaional help.

@bellarose11thanks so much. You've made me look at it from a different perspective !

@Becks1995 no problem! I am glad i could help :slight_smile:

@skiier12 are you a man or women? How did your OCD start

@Becks1995 Messaged ya!

From Anxiety & Panic Disorders to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)