God, I'm so embarassed yet again!
My boyfriend, as nicely as he could commented about how much food I had eaten in the last few days. I told him sometimes I get like this and admitted I have been closet eating. He didn't say a word. I don't think he knew what to say.
I'm very lucky that he does not mind my weight at all, but I am beginning to mind it. And I can't help it! I have been feeling really hungry all the time anymore. He went out for a little bit today and I ate. I had to do the dishes and I snuck food shoving it in as quickly as possible b4 anyone walked into the kitchen.
I find myself more and more eating when nobody is around, like I have to hide it.
If I told you what I ate today it would make you sick.
Thinking about it makes me sick of me! I am so ashamed of myself!
You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about, but on the contrary so proud of yourself for being here and confronting this issue that is making you feel this way. The key now is to take it one day at a time, don't overwhelm yourself with the big picture but work on each day and try to slowly but surely scale back on what you are eating and when you are eating. Also, are you closet eating because you are embarrassed about the amount that you are eating? I used to do that, I used to only eat a lot when no one was around, but I knew that I had to really gain control of myself and get to the root of why I was eating when I would eat. Was I eating because I was genuinely hungry or was I eating to feed emotional pain that I wasn't working through? Well, I realized that I was eating to feed my emotional pain. It was a combination of seeking therapy and slowly scaling back on my eating by only eating when I was genuinely hungry. It was such a huge challenge.
Keeping a food journal really helps a lot because you visually see what you have eaten over the course of one day, two days, three days and so on.
I know that you can and will get through this slowly but surely. Don't be hard on yourself, be so proud of yourself for getting here and wanting to work through this.