Started taking Vraylar with the Wellbutrin on Monday and so

Started taking Vraylar with the Wellbutrin on Monday and so far things seem "better". For the past 3 weeks, if my son is asleep, I've been taking every opportunity to sleep as well so my apartment is horrible. I have to force myself to clean today and go to the laundry mat. All of my kids clothes are dirty except for a pair of overalls and a pair of thick pajamas and it's getting too warm for him to wear them. You may be thinking "just let him sleep in his pull up". I would absolutely LOVE to do that but he won't stop playing in it. He just turned 2 on March 20th and found out he's a level 3 on the autism spectrum the 21st. This week has been fanf***ingtastic. I'm just impatiently waiting for the 31st so we can afford to have the van towed to the dealer and hopefully fixed. Then I gotta find someone that is willing to drive my fiance and grandma there to see about getting the rental car they promised she could get no matter what. I desperately need it fixed (no clue what's wrong with it) because I've had to cancel appointments I couldn't really afford to cancel. A referral was sent in for me to see an endocrinologist out of town about getting an insulin pump and I can't even go to that appointment because I'm terrified to go alone. Yes, my insurance would pay for transportation but only one person can go with me and I have no one aside from my fiance and someone has to be with our son because I don't trust anyone with him. I was diagnosed as a type 2 diabetic at 14. I'm 23 now and my A1c has been between 10.1% and 14.1% since August 2017. Nothing is working. I have been keeping my glucose between 95 and 250 but by Friday or Saturday the weekly shot isn't working anymore and I take them on Sundays. I was also supposed to start therapy on the 22nd and I had to cancel that too. Really needed that rn. My go to to keep from having proof that I'm hurting myself is scolding baths. If I just sit here til the water gets cold and the redness goes away, he'll never know because he never comes upstairs to check on me. I miss the cutting and burning but I also don't want my son to see that even tho he won't understand what it is for a few more years. By then I hope to have all my scars covered with tattoos. I'm so over these meds making me sleep most of the day then be up all night. I just wanna be comfy in bed right now but instead I'm sitting here venting to people who don't even care.

I care!!
That all sounds rough but I know you are strong.
If you need anything I'm here for you.
I would help you if I could.

2 Hearts

Your situation sounds extremely overwhelming. Would it be possible for your grandma to go with you to your appt, then your fiance could stay home with your son? Do you and your fiancé have a phone? If you do maybe you could stay on the phone with him during your Dr visit, maybe put your phone on speaker so then you could hold your phone for something to physically hold onto and just know he is right there. Since you are in such a desperate situation anything is better than nothing. I know as a mother myself, that everything we do, we do it for our child/children so I'm just trying to think of anything i can even if it's a tiny bit of help. As far as the laundry, could your fiance go do the laundry??

2 Hearts

You are really going thru several trauma areas all at once. Autistic child's evaluation, finances, car issues, your diabetic diagnosis & treatment, your mental health diagnosis & treatment, basic housing needs, self-harm leading to wanting to stay home for your son, probably relationship issues, maybe even worrying about your Grandma? Wow, a lot to go thru w/o help. Is there anyway your situation can be assessed to get further gov or community support?
Even if you're not a member of certain churches near you, many have 'OutReach' programs exactly for people such as yourselves. I understand you don't want to leave your son with anyone else but if that translates to you never getting emotional or medical help (or getting your car back), you cannot recover and therefore NOT be able to be there for your son.
I am so sorry you're in the situation of him being level 3 on the Spectrum -how incredibly overwhelming...a lot for anyone who's 'not' going thru the entanglement of issues, let alone yourself.
All I can offer is that yes, we care, we are listening. I would imagine your local Library has access for you to use their Internet Services...for even a half hour? They prob have a more private cubicle for you to get on a Zoom Group Chat for Moms of kids with Spectrum 3 level if you don't have your own phone capabilities?
Or what about a support chat for self-harm?
There is also this support site which is very active: "Mental Health Forum UK"...it's got a lot of branches of help and info as well as so many members.
Please keep trying to help yourself...

1 Heart

@Littlesis7
It’s way more than I signed up for that’s for sure but not a single aspect of my life has been easy in my almost 24 years of existence. Abuse started at 8 weeks when my mom got scared of my grandparents getting cps to take me so she had to leave me with them to get them to leave her alone. Fun fact cps always closed the cases on them even with enough proof to have put them in prison for life. They do not have any interest in helping the kids that need it but rather than going out of their way to take the ones that don’t need help. I’ve been through the drug addiction, sex addiction, alcoholism, the whole 9 yards and I’m only 23. My son saved me from it all, or so I thought. I knew having pre-existing psychosis would put me at greater risk of postpartum psychosis rather than just ppd/ppa. Sometimes I wonder if I deserve him at all. I’m still waiting to have everything ripped away from me, it’s bound to happen eventually. We have our own income based apartment, my fiance is disabled and my son is not only autistic but he has spastic diplegic cerebral palsy. He is starting to try to walk but he’s not getting anywhere fast. His therapy center isn’t far from here but I decided to cancel his appointments until it warms up so I can just walk there and him not freeze on the way. We have phones through SafeLink but they shut his off. He was looking into other programs like SafeLink and they just pulled his information and sent him another phone. It doesn’t work and they refuse to transfer his service back to his old phone with out him paying for it. We also have the government tablets. I’ve tried getting the cash assistance and they keep denying me because they say we make too much in a year. He gets $914 and $250 is for rent. We have a phone meeting with social security to get our son signed up for disability. Yea rent will go up but at least we’ll be able to “survive”.

It wouldn't be possible for my grandma to go with me. She lives 30 minutes in the opposite direction of where I need to go for the appointment. She would have to be at my apartment at the time of pickup. I could do the phone idea but it wouldn't be the same. I received a letter today saying I have to see a kidney doctor too because of my diabetes so now I'm even more terrified. Thankfully it's at the hospital campus which is only a 45 minute walk from my apartment. Only issue is it's at 1:30 and we're supposed to be across town at 2:00 for our appointments with our primary care physician. He is supposed to be doing the laundry but he hasn't played Xbox with his friends in like a month so I took a nap while he played I just slept way longer than I wanted to.

@FrostedRaven723 sounds like you may have to reschedule something huh? I agree with you, the phone thing sure isn’t the same. I totally understand your health problems are quite serious so you really do need someone with you.