Starting out - my internet/gaming addiction story

Well i just joined this support group. yeah I know some people may say it's ironic to join an ONLINE internet addiction support group, but really it's my only option. And going online for a little bit just to check up on email, support, etc. is different than intensely gaming for hours at a time.

I've always had a computer, even when I was a little kid. My parents actually supported the use of computer games, although half the time I just watched my sister play them because she's older and therefore got what she wanted.

It started becoming a problem around middle school. I had self esteem issues related to body image (I was never overweight but felt I was) not to mention an overbite which led to minor speech problems. I tried to explain to people but they couldn't do anything, after all it was middle school and everyone knows that's just the "awkward phase".

I started playing videogames to escape my real world problems, which led to even more sad feelings. I began to feel like I had no effect on the world at all; as if I could just drop off the face of the planet and nobody would notice. I had plenty of friends at school and I was semi-popular, but gradually, I began to distance myself from them. There were nights where I stayed up all night on school nights gaming and surfing the Internet.

Fast forward to freshman year. I left all my old friends to go to an entirely new school where I didn't know anyone. My gaming became less of a problem at this point as I became more busy; I plunged myself into schoolwork and sports and quickly established a tight circle of friends.

It started going downhill in my 2nd semester. I had a rough breakup with a boy I really liked, and the pressure of keeping a 4.0 at a private college prep was getting to me. I started gaming again on weekends. I lied to my friends about being busy so I could game the entire weekend. I quit track halfway through the season to free up time for gaming.

That summer was really bad. There were days that I only went out of my room to use the bathroom, and when I remembered to eat I would grab some dried fruit or something that I could bring back to my room to keep gaming.

It looked back up the beginning of this year, my sophomore year. I got back into sports - dance team - and got busy with schoolwork, cutting back my gaming time. I started to do stuff with my friends and clean my room on weekends, and I joined track for the spring season.

The pressure is getting to me again, though. The past 4 weekends, I have neglected my personal hygiene and lied about being busy again. I'm trying to stop playing videogames but I just can't. I can feel a serious relapse coming on and I don't know how to stop it.

I know this was a lot to read, so it's okay if nobody reads it. I just need to know that somewhere, my information is out there. So if I do have a relapse, someone will know, and that helps me. I didn't know someone could even be addicted to something like this until I recognized it in myself.

Has anyone ever had a problem like mine? is it worse? Better? Do you still have it? How do you get rid of it?

Good for you in taking the 1st step..Knowing that something is wrong! THat takes alot..I know alot of people dont think of "gaming" as a problem but I understand that when it's all you do it is a problem. I would say,try and start looking at other things/activities that make you happy...Anything that doesnt relate to the computer. When you do that,naturally you will meet good people and aquire new friends along the way! Remember like they always say..."one day at a time" and its so true. Worry only about today...not tommorrow and sure as hell not the past..Work one min/hour at a time...and every min/hour that your not gaming is a good one,right?! All the best to you and let us know whats going on.. ;)

The “one day at a time” way to think of it is really helpful…not gaming for a year seems impossible, but if I just tell myself “don’t game today” then eventually i can stop. Thank you for the feedback!