You tell yourself your going to be okay, but you just dont feel it. This is pain you have caused, and you hate what you have done. Your afraid others are going to judge you, and you can feel their eyes on you. We know you cheated on your partner. Everyone will know. Yet they dont see me. They dont see me on here, trying to atone for my sins, acknowledging i was wrong in what i did, how i am now speaking to my partner for the first time in years, and we are sitting on the couch. They dont see all the tears i have spilled, or that i am on anti depressants, or that i get panic attacks, or that i have bought books on 'surviving the affair' or that i got down on my knees in the middle of the night and prayed to God for forgiveness, that i am seriously seeking spirital help.
I am the bad guy i know, but i love my son, i love my partner. I am a Male Nurse, i dont do my career for the money. I have never stolen, or hit anyone, or broken the law. I have always respected my parents, and try not to use bad language. I try and help others out, but i cheated i know, and people will hate me for what i did, but why can't they see what i am trying to do, that i would never cheat again, that i am changed. All they see is the cheater. It really hurts.
My husband cheated on me.
I hate to say this but it is going to take time. Time, honesty and your actions will only change the way people view you.
It will take a while for people to believe you changed.
It is like when you hear people say a bad news travels fast. Good news does not, it takes time.
Your kindness and caring for those that you hurt are most important during this time.