Hi, I'm 22 years old and I'm in an emotional and borderline physical abusive relationship with my adopted mother who is 81 years old.
This will be a long story. First, I was adopted because my biological mother did not want me around her boyfriends. That's her side of the story. My adopted mother, who is my great grandmother, has a different side: she did not want to or had the experience to handle a baby at that moment. I believe both sides are true. I know that I am at least in a better place than I would be with my biological mother and have no problems with being adopted. Throughout my young age, I believed I had a good relationship with my great grandmother. However, at recent times, I realize she has sheltered me from a lot of life experiences (such as getting a job, driving, dating, sleepovers). I also noticed she fought with my great grandfather and called him lazy and various other names. I believed her side of the story then. I noticed things started to change when I turned 18 and in 11th grade. I walked in the kitchen and she was on the phone. I tried not to make a lot of noise, walked over to sink, and put my empty glass up silently. All of a sudden, she slapped me several times. I have no idea why. Then a few weeks later, we were trying to figure out something on the computer and were on the phone with a customer service person. She told me to click something on the computer and I did then all of a sudden it happened again. She claimed I wasn't listening to her. In 2007, my great grandfather passed away due to a stroke and that's when everything changed. She started giving me the same exact treatment as she did him, called me names, said I was lazy. When I was interviewed for my first job, she told me I could not have that job due to it being mainly night shift. She forbid me to wear make up and date boys. Finally I met someone I went to school with and she allowed the relationship. We've been together for three years and he has supported me immensely. However, sometimes she makes little jabs at him behind his back. A year ago, she was hospitalized for surgery and a nurse accidentally gave her the wrong medicine. It made her hallucinate for a few days and while she was in this state, they tried to make go to a nursing home for a few days. She had stated before this that she wanted to go because I would not be able to take care of her. During this state, she got mad at me and said she would never put me in charge of anything because I wanted her to go there. During this time, I went to see a therapist who pointed out what she was doing to me. Also, I had a discussion with my brother and he told me that I was treated the worst out of all the kids (3) Then, after she got out, I did not mention what was said but said I went to a therapist. She said that I did not need one because they would tell me that she was the cause of all my problems. Now, she lashes out at me for no reason. She got mad at me over a glass again and said she was going to hit me. She complains about my fiance not having a job yet and not even trying. I just recently and finally got a job at a local grocery store and sometimes she complains about it. She threatened to have me kicked out of the house and gets angry when I talk to family members. Unless it's for work or college, she doesn't allow me out past dark. She won't let me have my car (that I paid for) in my name and doesn't want me leaving the house. She told me when me and my fiance get married, that we are going to have to stay there and take care of her. Just today, a thunderstorm knocked out cell phone reception here and I had to use the house phone. The phone I was using had horrible reception and I went to use the other phone. She comes in bashing down the door and screams at me that I did that because I didn't want her to listen in on her conversations. I did not say that to her but I know that she does in fact listen on everybody's phone conversation, not just mine. Though that was even the reason why I was taking the other phone. I am stuck here. I can't stay a friend's or relative's house due to my not having a car and I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I'm able to buy a car but my mom won't let me touch my own money. I can't sit down and talk to her about this because she will get angry. Since the phone thing happened, I'm worried that she will take away all phone privileges even though I own and pay my cell phone. I can't tell someone else because most of them think I'm just faking it. The others I don't tell because that would end up in me getting kicked out because all they would do is talk to her. I first thought it was just she was hurting from my grandfather's death but I no longer can see that. She treats me the exact same way. I'm scared that she might do something crazy soon and I'm sometimes scared to go to sleep. I don't know what to do at all. I pray every night for things to get better but they are only getting worse each day. I just feel completely lost and hopeless.