Two years ago, my husband gave $75,000 to a con man and did not tell me about his investment. He also lost his job in the bad economy and lied to me about it so I would not worry. Months later, I found out about both of these things and poured my life and my savings into getting us out of debt and my husband out of depression. He had gone pretty far downhill so it took a lot of strength to pull him up.
In saving him and our financial state, my husband lost his feelings of love towards me. I have been asking him about this for months, feeling so lonely and just wanting my partner to hold me and be affectionate towards me. I gave him everything I have, emotionally and financially but he fell out of love with me in the process.
Tonight I told him that I deserve to be loved and need a husband who can love me. He thinks we are too different and I think we are going to get a divorce now.
He left tonight to go out with our friends, I was supposed to join them but could not go. Instead, I stayed home and I binged.
I have suffered from nocturnal eating and binge eating for 20 years and have both issues pretty much under control. But tonight, I am so scared. I have been so strong and so supportive of someone who just fell out of love with me. And I am crumbling inside. I am so scared that all of my eating disorders are going to get out of control.
I have been so giving for so long now that I wonder if there is someone out there who will love me and give to me. But even if there is not, I don't want to hurt myself. I just want to stay recovered and not take my feelings out with food.
I am pretty scared and very lonely. If someone can suggest something to me, it would mean the world to me.
im so sorry ...liag--wow... i wonder--did he ever tell you why he feel out of love with you? i wonder if he was embarrassed by his situation... hmm again im so sorry--but im sure there is someone who can love you out there--and never give up! i know how eating or how for me--starving helps with emotions--but it wont solve the problem here...i would ask if you have any friends you can talk to or something you can alieviate your pain? are you seeking help ?this is an awful lot for someone to handle ....help would be good here...
Thanks Maureen! That is really great advice. I don't know why it is so hard for me to talk to people about my feelings. I really should try to open up more to my friends. I think he fell out of love with me because in order to help him, I became the person holding the mirror up to show him where he needed to heal. He ended up resenting me for it. It's crazy really. Thanks for your kind support, it really helps!
I'm so sorry! You're in a really tough spot right now, and I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. As for suggestions, I agree with Maureen that it would be a good idea for you to rely on other friends--or a therapist--for the emotional support you're not getting from your partner. Also, don't kick yourself over messing up and binging--one defeat is not a permanent defeat, and tomorrow is a new day! And above all, keep reminding yourself that you WILL get through this, no matter what lies ahead! We're all here for you; keep posting!
Thank you so much for your support. I just foung out that he is moving in with his friend on October 1st. I gave him everything I had, emotionally and financially and he is leaving me. But you are right, just because I had one relapse tonight does not mean I have to relapse in the future. I can stay strong again starting tomorrow.
Thanks again for your support. It really means the world to me right now.
I can't begin to imagine the pain you are experiencing... My thoughts are with you. ♥ You're right when you say that you deserve to be loved! I imagine that your husband felt rather demasculated by the financial ruin and the way he failed to provide for you... Some men can't get over the pain of that kind of failure... Hang in there... I don't know what will happen in your relationship, but I am SURE there is someone out there for you. ♥
Liz,
I'd like to welcome you also, to a very supportive, and nonjudgmental site. I am so sorry that you are suffering with this emotional pain. No one deserves to be treated this way!
I agree that reaching out to those who you know support and care about you is important, plus seeing a professional could be the best gift you can give yourself to prevent falling back into the ED as a way to cope.
Please share more here, and know that you are worthy and deserve to live your life free!
Take care..Jan ♥
It is so comforting to be on this site. The comments everyone are making have been such a gift. My goal right now is to feel all of the terrible feelings that this situation is causing. I know that when I don't feel my feelings, I binge and my feelings force their way out. Reading your posts has helped me to cry, to feel validated that it's ok for me to feel bad in this situation. Since my feelings are coming out (hard as they are) I know I won't binge to feel them. So, thank you everyone for making me feel like I matter and am allowed to feel.