I asked my husband to move out during mediation as he is staying in a different bedroom in the same house and it is VERY stressful. At first he said he would now he says he is not leaving during mediation. He says tongue in cheek that since I am planning to be fair and amicable that it shouldn't be a problem. It is going to be HELL. Since there have been some abuse issues in the past I am very worried.
hi teach....playing devils advocate, why don't you move out? don't know the details of your situation, just going by my own experience. i moved out and the relieve was immediate. my marriage has long since been resolved. i'm sorry hun, the whole divorce thing does'nt feel good no matter how you slice or dice it. or you can just stay and take proper measures for your safety if there is still the fear of abuse.....or could it be the after affects of the abuse that lingers that has you afraid......
I don't move out because I have two dogs I would need to take with me and I teach swim lessons out of our home the month of June. It bringsin extra income for me. He has thrown drinking glasses at me and shattered them on kitchen cabnet, handful of 20 keys on a key ring, food, driven 80 on city streets to intimidate, and punched holes in walls.... about 6-8 incidence a year. Not all the time and never in the middle of a fight. He just snaps and you don't know when it is goingt happen. I have a key to a friends house down the street that is going to be out of town in case I need to bail.
Next time he freaks out on you call the police. These things need to be documented and perhaps it would help him to see his immaturity in the way that he handles stress.
I agree with calling the police. He is counting on you doing nothing, as he is a bully and an abuser. Call his bluff, and call the police. As for the dogs and the swimming lessons: You must protect the dogs, they are counting on you to do so. If necessary, find a friend or take them to a shelter that provides foster care until such time that you can provide them with the safe place they deserve to have. Swimming lessons? Is the money you are making really worth your peace of mind? Is there some other thing in your life that could be cut out of your monthly finances so you don't need to teach swimming lessons to survive? If so, ditch the lessons, place the dogs safely, and get the heck out of the abusive home! I hope this helps.
Since I am living paycheck to paycheck swim lessons are important. It brings in an extra 3k in the summer and it is a business I have built up over the years by word of mouth. If I bail I have to start all over. He has all the banking accounts in his name only. Just trying to hang on until mediation on the 28th. I have a friends home that is a few blocks away that I can go to with the dogs if needed that is out of town the rest of this month. I will call the police if he does one of his physical abusive moves. He has been very careful since I served him papers exhibiting only verbal abuse. My concern is I don't know when he will snap with the physical abuse issues. My guess will be after mediation when he finds out how much alimony he will have to pay and for how long. My dad and girlfriend are coming in to stay with me during mediation. Hopefully after mediation he will have 30 days to move out. Swim lessons are over July 8th and it will make it easier for me to leave if necessary at that time.