Support love peace support its your life end the chaos

Hey guys! I have been looking at these support groups for years sure you have been there, late late night freak outs from too much adderall and feeling guilty and crackey therefore keeping myself up at night researching tips*tricks*ways to quit. I would actually get cramping in my forearm and hands from being on my phone at night for houuurrrs. And being a hair stylist doing this to myself was just another nasty negative side effect of my adderall abuse. I started taking adderall 3 in a half years ago..for schoool. And boy did I freakin love it. I am not a good studemt and not only was I on the honor roll after discovering adderall but I was skinny talkative getting things done and wipping up "amazing" homemade crafts art creative bull**** stuff just because I HAD to keep busy. This **** really wacks you out guys I honestly feel I stopped growing as a person from the 1st day I tried it. Locking myself out from the world so this nasty disease could keep me all to myself..that selfish basterd. I allowed it...I wanted it...I didn't care. 3 years later im struggling but pushing through recovery ..its hard to remember exactly when I decided to stop* and then of course u go through ur 3 days clean 1 week clean 2 days clean* but what's crazy is. I remember telling myself years ago..that I WOULD have a problem with this if I didn't stop scared me..and its almost like the little disease addderalll devil voice kicks in and says **** it! And my mind stops and the only thing that matters is finding it annd taking it. Today would be my 2 week sober mark (longest I've gone..which isn't much but huge in my world) but I failed a bit over the weekend. I guess I just wanted to share a few things im learning through this recovery from myself (im a very insightful and spiritual person this is why this **** is killing me..)and from my therapist.
*******j***people places things..people places things. We need to avoid the people in our lives who have this **** take this **** or talk about it openly. As much as our minds tell us we will be okay...we wont. These people are triggers and way to easily attainable to get what we want (adderall) weather you steal it from them or buy it. One thing that seriously helps guys as much as it scares the **** outta u is TELL UR DEALER tell ur doctor TELL THe FRIENdS who have adderall "hey I dnt wanna take this stuff anymore I think its only giving me a negative in my life please dnt mention or bring it around me anmore" this is crucial I have struggled with this one for awahile but once I did it helped. U.. we are not strong enough to say no to ourselves..or say no to the disease in that moment of I want it! That moment of. Chaos. We need to prepare our surroundings...which leads me to places. Change ur surroundings if its partys or cergain houses or places r a trigger for u than find a new place...prepare ur surroundings people and places for the chaos...the chaos that is adderall addiction.. the want the need the" **** it" love yourself enough to care and prepare. Love urself is huge too guys beating urself up will not help.. u get more of what u give out...mother urself nurture urself when u have that chaotic moment talk to yourself in 3rd person I know that's weird but do it... say "_______ (your name) u r better then this I love u I care about u we can do this ect" things......replace the triggers the objects in ur life that remind u off adderall. Do not be afraid u guys don't be afraid of change...we have held onto our abnormal reality for way to long if u want to end it u need change and just saying no wont help...u need to work from the insdie out and once ur out u need the physical places people things of ur life to be changed as well. If people say **** about u and that's why ur worried to open up than say FUK EM. U r u,,u will only have u...forever...not these other people ...they may b there but in the end ll u have is love urself enough to make change... I love u guys! I bring nothing but peace and happiness into ur lives and im still trying to do the same for mine. Please feel free to post back and if u want we can chat through email as welll... I need the support just as much as u we all need it...@

Is there any1 out there that knows how I can transfer this post to under addiction? Im new to this! :) thanks

Hang in there need2Bfree and keep posting.

Ahhh was my first love, my first taste of speed. I took it (not knowing I had ADHD anyway) at first to "get a little more done" but I quickly developed a taste for it and before you know it, I had my child back on it, had my friends getting their kids put on "mama's little helper" lol just so I could buy their pills...I could not get enough adderall and ritalin but eventually it just became too hard to find, and I was insatiable...I would take 10 pills a day...a pill or two every few hours and then I could even SLEEP on them...ha! Occasionally a ritalin or adderall binge where I might stay up alll weekend...well I could not get enough to appease me so I got a bit of coke and that was just a all it made me do was want more and more coke and I would take it all...all in a weekend.... stay up..not eat...line after line every 10 minutes, sometimes 6 or 8 lines at a time...then I got to doing meth and I loved it.....I loved it so much and it did NOTHING good for me....Oh i thought it did...I thought it helped me to clean and lose weight but in the end all it did was make me into a retard...

I'm pulling for you...stay can do this....don't believe the lies the drug tells you

I see this a year later...joker girl u still there?