I am trying to be supportive of someone who is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Any advise on where I can learn about this and what I can do to be supportive of this person?
railroad penny
u can get lots of good help on the net for things like this but the best people are a therapist who im sure would be happy to include u in some of the sessions like role play where they use different techniques to give some understanding to the lost child who has grown into a fragile adult, the biggest help is to listen and reassure them that they were not to blame in any way shape or form for the incidents that happened.
its important that u take it at a pace your friend is comfortable with and not overstep boundarys that they impose, these are defence coping mechanisms they will have learnt in childhood to escape to another place or make peace and sense out of the things that happened.
unconditional acceptance goes a long way in these circumstances but its important that u dont smoother them in compassion without lettin them lead
hope this gives u a quick insite
as always
loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
Hi, speaking from a place of experience, I can say the most important thing for me was to be heard, believed and stood up for. its such a difficult thing to have to heal from but with love and support it is possible. Compassion compassion compassion....thats what someone needs as they go through the healing process. never expect this person, to just get over it...it may take years and there maybe be several setbacks. another thing thats important is never to judge the victim...never ask if she liked it or ask what she did to bring it on...it just victimizes the victim all over again.
I was blessed with two wonderful devoted therapists over the years which I will never forget. maybe you could help her find one too. My most valuable source of healing was God. And he still is, so much that I no longer call myself a victim of sexual abuse. it feel as if that happened to another person. I now thrive in my life and in my relationships.
I trust that someday your friend will too. she is blessed to have you as a friend.