We did some body awareness mediation - as i had told her, when i binge eat i get to block out everything, body and mind. So that was good and made me more aware of where I was carrying my tensions.
And also there is a bad influence back in my life, he is of no benefit to me, but I find it so hard to push him away and say deal with your own problems as we did date in the past. Maybe I still have feelings for him, I don't know. (but I have no plans to go back there)
Anyway what my therapist said is write a list of how it makes you feel..when he texts...do I think it would be beneficial to keep him in my life or do I just act out of guilt?....etc
List the pros and cons and weigh them up.
I am mentally making that list now and it's not look good I have to say. But my therapist does clear out all that guilt junk I have clogging my brain.
So if anybody has a person in their life, that is hindering your recovery, but guilt is stopping you from making time for you, you have to step back and say "no"...this space is for me...be it family, friend, boyfriend, etc Because when you are saying yes to a negative influence, you are saying a very firm NO to yourself.
Absolutely true. Like the saying was during the 1960's; " if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem."
If you've got someone in your life who's a negative influence or is causing you problems, you need to eliminate that person from your life before you can hope to move on in a positive light!
Moongal, thank you for sharing session 3 with us. Yet another brilliant breakthrough that we can all learn from. It's pretty amazing how one negative person in our lives can really drag us backwards. I believe that wholeheartedly and scarily sometimes we don't even see this person clearly. I am a huge advocate in removing negativity from my life, as I can easily map out timelines of how my life was hindered when such people were in it. The key is to identify them and then know that having them out of our lives is much better than keeping them in it. It is all about clearing your life and energy of this person, though I think that the list is genius in that it gets all of your thoughts and feelings out, thus uncluttering your mind and soul.
I hope that you get this person out of your life, because you are making such huge strides and breakthroughs. I only want to see you stay on track and on this incredibly positive path, as you only deserve the utmost happiness in life and love.
True graywolf, if they are not helping you are hindering.
Ya Puppy I could nearly timeline it too, to when really negative people came into my life, and I fell apart. I just didn't know how to handle them. Sometimes it still shocks me how much some can take from others without a thanks or anything. I would hate to think there was someone out there that I left feeling down, it would break me in two to think that.
And the thing about these people is that they can creep in so lovingly at first and then all of a sudden just take everything. So they leave you with a sense of responsibility toward them, because you've started to care for them, but then when they do the horrible things it's like I don't want to see that...and I want to see the good, even though it's the bad that is really hurting me...eventually you have to let go and wake up to reality.
So to everyone if there is someone "lurking" around your life...make the decision to let them go...it can be difficult but you have to, for your own happiness.
I totally agree Moongal, these people can come in so sweet and lovingly and then side swipe you with their negativity. It happened to me with two newer girlfriends who I really took in and helped so much from the goodness of my heart. Without getting into all of the specifics, I dubbed them energy vampires, because they sucked the positive energy out and away from me. They left such a heavy weight of negativity on me, that it took some time to clear it out and way. One of the girls still lingers because she is acquainted with a lot of people that I know, but I don't communicate with her any longer. If I know that she will be somewhere, then I avoid that event. I don't put myself into unnecessarily stressful situations anymore. Now that these negative girls are out of my life, I feel so light and airy. I only surround myself by good positive energy as much as I can. It's all in our control who we allow to stay in our lives and if we know that someone is negative/trouble and we keep them around, then we are just asking for it. At that point, we cannot complain about them or fault them, because we are allowing them to stay.
Always remember to give your time, energy, and love to those who deserve it and are worthy of it. I don't believe that it should be given to just anyone.