I HATE MY LIFE!!! im through with it all. i want to die!! i cant go through another day... nobody wants to be around me, so i cut tonight just because of it. and to punish myself for being this way. i HATE being depressed, im fed up with it...i want to be freaking normal again! is that too much to ask for?? God! Please make it all stop!!! please.........
hopelessgirl ....
I want to be around you! I don't want you to hurt yourself. I care. The others on this website care.
Can I make a suggestion? Can you please call 911 and go to the emergency room if you are going to hurt yourself and/or you feel you can't take it anymore.
You will be surprised at the help you will receive. You will be put in touch with resources that will help you despite your financial situation.
This is not a negative thing to do. You are not crazy. You just want help. You want to be put in contact with the resources that are available out there NOW.
If you do go to the emergency room they might want to admit you, admit you to a mental health facility or get you involved with an out patient program. This is all GOOD. It might sound bad but it is not. They might hold you for a period of 24 to 72 hours. Again, this is a good thing.
I know you want help. Here's an excellent way for you to go about it. Please do not hurt yourself. Please know there is hope out there. You will be happy again. :)
no way am i going back to the phsyc hospital again. last time i was there a guy staff member did something very wrong to me. no hospital gives a crap about their patients, ive learned that first hand. im going to a weekly support group, i went last night and look at me now. its too late ive already cut....
obviously im no expert and im not in the same position as you, but people do care. if you have a sponser (ahead of time, im a bad speller, excuse my words), anyways if you have a sponser or a friend from the support group, i suggest giving them a call, just by talking it out can help, and it doesnt matter what you did, you just make sure it doesnt happen again, and i (like the other person) suggest going to the emergency room. or if you don’t like that option go to a therapist/councilor, what ever happens make sure you get some form of help because obviously the support group is not enough, and thats ok, but you need to get help!!! hope all goes well!
I am sooooo sorry that you were wronged. That should have never happened.
I've been in the hospital twice. Once for 72 hours and again at another facility for 3 weeks.
The treatment I received was phenomenal. They cared. They worked with me. So, what I am trying to say is that you had a bad experience. Not all hospitals are like that. There is hope.
ill think about it...
hi hopeless girl!
I 1st like to acknowledge your great courage in vocalizing your situation and how you feel! It takes a great courage to voice it out and call for help!
By your willingness to share, i know deep down inside you want to live and that is why you are seeking for help and support!
I just passed that phase last week. I almost kill myself too. I am sick and tired about everything around me. How fake people are. How idiotic family can be. Friends who only pin me down and i feel all alone.
And what got me through is love. the start of doing things for myself and no longer for other. Things maybe still rocky around me at this moment but i am learning not to be affected by it by 1st not taking things personally and i focus on loving myself and doing things for myself and opening up to a small group of friends to support me.
If you are comfortable, lets talk more. often there are deep routes in our subconscious that is creating all these feelings that we are not happy with. and we can work together to live through this. :)
no one wants to be around me either, my class turned on me last night. I need to keep my mouth shut and not participate in discussions. It hurt, rejection sucks. I have to keep going for my dogs though, I can't do that to them. Find a reason, any reason to carry on hopelessG. Even though it sucks, i live...
be careful with cutting though, I still have scars on my arm, they make me even more self conscious, especially in a psych class.
I used to do it cause I felt numb, and hated myself. Ya, I am not all positive, sorry, ignore me.
Jaded, I’m sorry you too are having a difficult time. You are not to be ignored. We are all here to help each other heal. Everybody has times they hate themselves, you are not alone.
I tried to kill myself a few years ago because I was in a horrible situation. It took me a long time to figure out that I deserved to be happy.
Did you ever hear of “6 Word Memoirs”?
Here is the link:
You are to write your life in 6 words.
My memoir was:
ONCE FELT WORTHLESS. REALIZED I’M PRICELESS.
Everyone who suffers at the hands of depression simply have not realized their own worth. It’s time to discover it.
Hope -
I just saw your post. Oh sweet, precious Hope. I am so sorry that you are feeling so lost and unloved.
I used to play this song for my foster daughter when she was haviing a difficult time. It's a great song and I've posted the lyrics too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-G8IfjPAII
YOU ARE LOVED - JOSH GROBAN
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When you're heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you
Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you lost inside
I...I will be there to find you
Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one is to be heard
You are loved
Beautiful Dizzaster... I believe in songs can heal too...
some of the songs that pull me through those times are;
1. How Could Anyone - Shaina Noll
2. Hero - Mariah Carey
3. You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban
and many many more.
and that is a very beautiful citing.
Jaded! please acknowledge yourself. You are doing great in sharing. In sharing we understand each other and heal.
Yeah i like that calling you HOPE! Jade, Hope, Beautiful! that sounds like a great combination. :)
love
You are not alone... not here, not within the walls of this great group. We all have our stories of depression, helplessness, and despair. We may not know how you feel exactly but we can relate. We want you here. Please dont hurt yourself. Do it for me if you need a reason.... do it because we have yet to get to know each other and I want you as a friend of mine. I wish I could hug you and take your pain away.... please stay with us.... You are not alone!
thanks guys....
there's a lot to respond to.
jaded: dont worry about not being positive around me. yeah, i dont like having visible scars, thats why i do my leg.
beautiful: i listed to that song a lot. it helps, but doesnt help for me.
inspired: i dont do things for myself. i hate myself, so that wouldnt work for me.
bluemirage: i want to stop cutting, honestly, because i hate doing it. but i just cant.
thank you all for your support. but i dont know if i want to be on here anymore. its just really hard for me to be open with people and i dont deserve help. and people keep hounding me on a subject when i tell them i dont want to talk about it. and that makes me mad.
I feel where you are coming from. Some part of you was able to come on here though, because it may still have some hope. No one can tell you how to feel, or what to do. We can only tell you that we care, because we have felt extreme emotional pain, and do NOT want it for others. You are in this world for a reason. Right now, I am not positive of mine. That is the nature of depression. You are allowed to feel it. Please try to think about the cutting before it happens. You may not be able to stop on your own, but know that when you do it, others are feeling for you, and that maybe throwing up those feelings to someone else will hurt less than the cut, eventually.
Hey,
We are all here for you. Please don't say nobody cares about you. Your life may be rough and suck right now but life really is worth living. Maybe you just haven't experienced the best part yet. I don't know the details of what you are going through but I'm certain you can find a solution. I am here to help! Please don't hurt yourself. Please keep me posted
xo, July
hey hope!!!
i hated myself too... the question is why do i hate myself?
then can i forgive myself?
it took me several years to get to the root of why i hated myself. the earlier years discovery was i hated myself because everyone around me hates me and i am different and people just cant accept me. i hate that i am the way i am.
then later on i discover that i hated myself because i am a burden to everyone. i seems to have created a lot of disaster in every other person's life.
after at least 3 years of work i finally realized that i hated myself because of my inner child guilt towards my mother.
i have to admit i didn't do this alone. i went to healers to help me.
contact him http://www.johnstamoulos.com.
he is a great loving support.
Please don't hurt yourself. I have been there many times where I thought it would be better to be dead. But, then I think of how I would hurt my family if I were to do something. I just have to keep plugging along and I know that at least one good thing will come out of every day. I make it sound easy right. But its not,,,it takes a lot of hard work and sometimes I feel like I'm going nowhere but I know that I have to do it. \
Have you ever had a stranger say something to you that you just needed to hear right at that moment. I have...I really think that angels are sent into our lives a times when we need them most. Sometimes we don't see them that way at the time, but realize later why things happened the way that they did and how that 1 or 2 minutes have changed our day. ... :) :) :)
I know that you might feel real hopeless and fed up but please do not hurt yourself. Get help for your depression.
Depression is NOTHING to be ashamed about. If you're a teen, tell your parents. If you're an adult, tell your doctor. Get help for your self injury as well.. I used to cut, and still get really strong temptations to cut. I just have to remember that I do have people who love me and would be devastated if I killed myself and them not know the reason why. Try to see the positive in your life.
Feel better. If you need to you can message me! I've gone through a lot of the same things you have and would be more then happy to offer advice and help you through it all. Good luck!
well im never gonna stop cutting...its my only escape right now. ive tried to get help but someone and insurance keep me from fully recieving it.
inspired: thats exactly how i feel. i feel that nobody wants to be around me. and people keep giving up on me because im too much to handle.
i want to be around you too! I want to listen to everything you have to say. And guess what… you are escaping right now also by just talking about it. You can use us as an escape. And you are helping others like April said…just by voicing your feelings here.
Thank you,