The anxiety has been SO bad the last few days. To the point of death being an option. But I kept thinking of my grandkids. Thoughts of them helped me through. Nothing in my "tool kit" was working - meditation, talking to therapist, praying, journaling, etc. But I must have hit some plateau because all of a sudden the cloud is lifting.
I understand how you feel. My anxiety has been horrible. I do all the things that I think may help but sometimes it's just not enough. I have been so very tired of life in general and the battle I have with depression, anxiety and PTSD seems to make it so much more difficult. I don't know what you meant about death being an option, but I will tell you that almost every night I go to sleep and pray to just not wake up. If I didn't have a daughter and grandson who would be traumatized for life, I would've already just taken enough sleeping pills to never wake up. I hope that you can find a reason to keep breathing and look for the good in this world. I do understand though.
@Goldenmom That’s exactly what I mean… not having to live another day. Except for my daughters and grandchildren who are my tie to life. One of my daughters has blocked all contact with me and keeps my granddaughters from me as well, so maybe she wouldn’t be upset if I left this earth. But my other daughter and grandson would be devastated and I simply cannot do that to them. I, too, struggle with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and some borderline tendencies. I appreciate your reply and I hope you continue to find reasons to keep breathing.