The epic taco bell episode of 2010

this was too funny not to share. well, it wasn't funny then... but it's kinda funny now...

so the other night my husband and I were out car shopping after work. I had restricted all day and was feeling 'fine' when we left. He asked if I wanted a sandwich before we left cause he made one for himself ... i lied and said that i had already eaten. (I know... I know...) So we were out for a few hours and of course i started to feel STARVING all of a sudden... while driving to the next dealer we passed a Taco Bell and something in me snapped... I HAD TO HAVE A TACO - ASAP! The thought of the crispy shell and geasy meat... i don't know what it was... but I had to have one... just one little 89 cent taco.. that's all. so i made him whip around make a u turn and go to Taco Bell heaven... the drive threw line was all backed up (First sign to just walk away!!!) so he suggested I jump out and run inside... so i did... and I enetered CHAOS! 20 people waiting to order... 20 people waiting for food they alrady ordered....a 15 year old worker got overwhelmeed and stormed out... (Sign number 2 I should have given up on my taco endevors!!!!) But did I? No. I waited. and waited. 45 FREAKING MINUTES FOR TWO LITTLE TACOS!!!! (yeah, I then decided to order two instead of one... and so began the guilt.) I was exhausted. starving. feeling guilty for lieing to my husband, wasting his time and then ordering TWO not ONE!!

So my dear sweet husband comes storming into Taco Bell after waiting in the car for 45 minutes and starts yelling at me... 'this is rideculous. forget about it. let's just go. we have things to do' AHAHAHAAH So I begged to stay just a few more minutes, grabbed my stupid tacos and stormed out to the car...

I had my prize and I was miserable, embarrased and worked up. My husbands started in on me saying how crazy all this was and how it was my fault for not eating earlier... oh girls, I LOST IT!!! LOST LOST LOST IT!!! I threw the two stupid tacos onto the floor of his car, started screaming and burst into tears. if I could of, I would have jumped out of the car! I ruined our fun night out...I ruined everything! My stupid ED wins again taking over our lives and emotions!!! I was soo upset. I cried for about 30 minutes and then calmed down enough to explain that I had lied...that i was starving...the whole deal... i just let it all out... and how my mind became fixated on two stupid tacos (which i never eat!!)

so we cuddled and talked in the car for a bit and then out of no where my husband says...'ok, let's go home and salvage what's left of your tacos...maybe you can make a taco salad out of them...' Hahahhahahhahah He's the best!

So... lesson here for me is... don't lie. I need to be honest with myself and those around me...especially when I am struggling so things like this don't happen and when they do there can be more emotional understanding of the situation...

so after a few days... it was too funny not to share with you all! Now every time we pass a Taco Bell my husband starts yelling 'EVIL! EVIL! EVIL!' Hahahhahahah

LA,

Thanks for the smile! ♥ I'm sure that was horrible at the time, but I needed a giggle this morning. :)

Love you!

Jen

LA...Thank you for sharing. I could feel your distress as I read this account. I'm glad you can see a lesson in this as well.
OK...so, you haven't been on in a while, and based on this account, it sounds as though you are struggling. Did your insurance coverage come into effect? Are you still going to seek help?
I am concerned about some of your statements, not because you are 'bad', but because I fear that grip of the eating disorder for you.
I hope you are setting things up to get some help!

BTW...in the world of eating disorder recovery, tacos are food, not 'bad' food, but possibly a part of living a more normal life. I eat Taco Bell food at least a couple of times a month. I like it. It's easy, and it nourishes my body and brain.
It's good to hear from you LA!!
Wishing you the best....Jan ♥

Sometimes it's soothing to look back on those moments of chaos and distress and find the humor in them. I am only giggling because I've probably been there at one point or another.

Thanks for sharing.

Hahaha!

i know, right!

Jan... I am working on things with insurance and such. It's in effect... I just need to push myself to do something. I know it's not 'bad' food... just food... and that there are no 'bad' foods... it was just that the power of this tiny crunchy taco had was just way too strong for my liking! LOL I can't explain it.. it made me angry that I WANTED IT SOO MUCH and I usually don't care to have them or eat there...

LA...yes, I do see the point. I was not reminding YOU so much as reminding our 'global' community of sorts...
Please look into getting some help! You are loved dear...Jan ♥

LA!
This is funny now... and I am so glad that you are able to laugh at it. I can only imagine how frustrating this must have been at the time! I have so much empathy for your situation, and I really hope that you will be able to get help soon. Don't let yourself fall too hard. Get help while you are still ok, and hang in there!
I'll be thinking of you :)
CC

LA: I did the SAME thing to my boyfriend about three years ago. But it was Boston Market and I had to have their creamed spinach.... so I can laugh with you and relate!