The flip side. What do you when your spouse has no physical attraction to you. I try to be strong for my kids sake, for the sake of the marriage. 8 years is a long time to go without intimacy. Not sure what is less disgusting at this point. infidelity or no infidelity. or has that just lost meaning. yeah, I know--time for divorce. But not so easily done when thinking of kids
2 Hearts
Who is doing the infidelity? Just wondering what else is going on with the no intimacy.
1 Heart
@Jenn7814 Thx for reply. No one is doing the infidelity (that I know of). It is sometimes a thought for me. In my wifes eyes, I am sub-standard, or something analogous to a car that turns out to be a lemon. (I get OCD work related flare ups every two to three years for about a week at a time. My career has stalled a bit. I have just a couple of good friends. Never enough hours in the day). For that, I am unworthy of her (her basic opinion). Forget about sleeping with a woman in 8 years, I haven’t kissed or hugged one in 4 years. It hurts to have no one for so long, but the kids need my support, my full salary, and me. I have nightmares about how the kids would cry if I left. How can I leave three kids? I cann’t. And yet I cann’t help but dream of another, somewhere. Pretzel logic. But the option of future infidelity can sometimes keep me going.
Staying together for kids is not always the best option. Kids pick up on things. You all deserve to be HAPPY.
1 Heart
Denying intimacy, like cheating is a form of abuse. It is a breaking of marriage contract, legally called collective abandonment. 8 years is a really long time, a counselor may help you figure out why this is happening. Infidelity is just more bad news and finger pointing and excuses. You have every right to expect affection and intimacy, it's really not a marriage without it for years. Deal with that first before involving another person then you can be open and happy if you decide to meet someone new.
3 Hearts