Our relationship started out as a secret we kept it tht way for a while when we finally came out to everyone it seemed like they all had something negative to say his past is not perfect and includes many women but when he engaged me I tht he put all tht away only to find text messages and pictures of his ex's in his phone...naked pictures. I forgave him over and over again I helped take care of his three small children I was his support I was his rock only to find out tht he was living a whole different life while living with me. I'm 20 years old and I'm taking care of responsibilites most 30 year olds dnt. I should be out having fun but I'm here being a wife cooking for him cleaning for him screwing him while he's planning ways to screw other women! I'm hurt I'm torn everyday I feel sick, worthless, and angry. I can't trust him every time his phone rings I get upset. Even though he has sworn over and over that he's done with games apologies don't take the pain away I love this man I don't know what to do.
I can totally relate to you. I am 20 yrs old, married to man who most of my family/friends have negative things to say about him, have 3 young kids w. him, and stuck doing things 30 somethings do-like cook, clean, etc-not going out and having fun. I think you feel unappreciated and that he should be helping out more/more conscious of how his actions hurt you. I don;t know if men that are "players" can change or if they even feel guilty for what that they do. Sometimes I think that because they know they have someone good at home/faithful etc-and willing to put up with a lot of bs they take advantage and continue to do hurtful things.I wish I could offer advice but than I'd be a hypocrit because I am in a similar relationship. My husband has cheated on me in the past-claims he's never do it again-but I get so frustrated because things are good for a bit than he is texting some female friend back or going to the bar/club w his friends (i am only 20 so can't go) and I worry that he is up to his old ways. I think you deserve better but understand that love can make you put up with a lot of crap from a guy. It is a good thing you are responsible & it makes you a better person in the long run -guys who continue to be "players" only hurt themself in the end because a partner can only put up with so much. If your guy continues to treat you like crap, eventually you will have enough, leave him, and he will lose the best thing that has happened to him. I relate to your story & hope either your guy starts respecting/apprecitating/&treating you better or that you are strong enough to leave him if that is what is best for you. No one should make you feel worthless-and you should be proud of your maturity because most 20 yr olds could not handle that & care for 3 kids. Good luck to you and if you ever need some one to vent or talk to please feel free to message me. You will be in my thoughts & prayers-and I hope everything works out for you.
I can totally relate to you. I am 20 yrs old, married to man who most of my family/friends have negative things to say about him, have 3 young kids w. him, and stuck doing things 30 somethings do-like cook, clean, etc-not going out and having fun. I think you feel unappreciated and that he should be helping out more/more conscious of how his actions hurt you. I don;t know if men that are "players" can change or if they even feel guilty for what that they do. Sometimes I think that because they know they have someone good at home/faithful etc-and willing to put up with a lot of bs they take advantage and continue to do hurtful things.I wish I could offer advice but than I'd be a hypocrit because I am in a similar relationship. My husband has cheated on me in the past-claims he's never do it again-but I get so frustrated because things are good for a bit than he is texting some female friend back or going to the bar/club w his friends (i am only 20 so can't go) and I worry that he is up to his old ways. I think you deserve better but understand that love can make you put up with a lot of crap from a guy. It is a good thing you are responsible & it makes you a better person in the long run -guys who continue to be "players" only hurt themself in the end because a partner can only put up with so much. If your guy continues to treat you like crap, eventually you will have enough, leave him, and he will lose the best thing that has happened to him. I relate to your story & hope either your guy starts respecting/apprecitating/&treating you better or that you are strong enough to leave him if that is what is best for you. No one should make you feel worthless-and you should be proud of your maturity because most 20 yr olds could not handle that & care for 3 kids. Good luck to you and if you every need some one to vent or talk to please feel free to message me. You will be in my thoughts & prayers-and I hope everything works out for you.
Undecided, make him think about what hes doing by not being SO available to take care of everyones needs. So many women gets themselves caught in this type of situation/lifestyle thinking they want to do this for everyone & they love HIM then they wind up being my age (55) looking back & very resentful/angry & sometimes playing victim/martyr cause they choose the wrong partner that wouldnt know how to appreciate what they truly have & grow/nurture the relationship.
Your young & need to look within for thoses answers usually in past history, the way one is raised, genetic links if applicable, traumatic experiences.
Focus on you & tell him he needs to find a sitter while you take care of business & I'll bet he'll try projecting his frustration for what he created onto you......dont let him unless he wants to seek counseling w/you or one on one.
All i can say is HUH!! What I mean is re read your post..WHAT would you tell a friend if they were in this very same situation...???????? this man has a problem that will never go away if he doesn't do anything about it he has sex addiction.
You are allowing him to continue the cycle. You cannot change him he can only change himself.
What you possibly need to do is give him an ultimatum (he get help!!!) ..there will ALWAYS be TRUST issues HUN!!
This is a cycle that will never stop !! April is speaking from experience listen to the wise she knows what she is talking about.
The only way it stops is by you taking the steps to I agree with April focus on YOU I guarantee you he will project his issues on you Guarantee it!!
You are allowing your self worth to be determined by enabling him to continue in this cycle.
Love AG♥
Thank you all so much for ur support and advice....although its hard to hear I know its for the best thank you again.
I believe that some sick men have the ability to compartmentalize their relationships. You are his wife and you provide him with certain things. They are his girlfriends, and each one of them provides him with something, too. I would be willing to bet that each of his girlfriends doesn't know he has other girls. He sounds immature and narcissistic. He also sounds like he has no reason to stop what he is doing, because as he messes around, you are at home with his kids, taking care of them and waiting for him.
He is a big problem, but your actions are even more troubling. You see, he is happy and content with what he is doing, but you are miserable with what you are doing.
So, you are probably going to have to be the one to take action and make a change.
Correct Soft, wanted to add its so much easier for people to have affairs because they dont have to deal with day to day life, kids, bills, problems, etc. they have someone shouldering everything for them that THEY dont want to take care of & as mentioned dont want to grow up.