Hi, I am new to the website. I have been searching for months for input from others who have the same symptoms of menopause as I do. I am 33 years old and in surgical menopause since August 2009 but it's been worse since December. I have been married for 13 years to the love of my life and we have a 7 year old son and 10 year old boy. Up until a few months ago I have been very happy in every way possible. The hot flashes have always been at a minimum......but the mood swings are worst along with......how do I say it? My way of thinking? I have changed inside into someone I do not know and i'm very scared. I so desparately need someone to tell me I am NOT the only person in this world dealing with this kind of emotion menopause has brought into my life. I use to be very careful meaning I always tooks others' feeling into consideration, always thinking things thru before I acted, and seeing my future and knowing what i wanted in it. Now my thoughts crowd my mind. They make me shake and tremble and get so nervous I can't eat, I cant sleep, I wake wanting to drown my kids and husband out, and.........what is this? I am up for anything anybody can offer me at this point. Thanks!
oh hun, sounds familiar to me. i'm 52 and on the other side. may i say i was crazy as a loon. i went solo at first. i ended up in therapy for other issues which helped and my dr put me on zoloft. for me that was the majic mix. there are hormone replacement therapies and natural remedies none of which i am familiar with. a friend did the replacement therapy and it worked for her. your not alone hun! find what works for you and keep posting here in addition. well help all we can.
Thank you for commenting.I know I should find meds that would help, but is it crazy I dont wanna take them? I mean this goes deeper than just a little depression or something. Can something like menopause make you question your future with the love of your life and the family you have prayed for and worked so hard for? I have not told anyone this until now. I know my husband loves me sooooooo much and he shows me everyday how much, I dont think i deserve to have him anymore. I dont wanna hurt him because i have seen what it would do to him. I dont think I am wife material anymore. I find myself jus wanting to do my "own thing" suddenly. nothing holding me down anymore. It makes me sooooo mad because i have never been like that!
oh dear hun, it's called the change of life and everything you are describing i went thru as well. some women not to the extremes others worse can you imagine. its our version of the midlife crisis that men have. i would highly suggest that along with posting here on the boards if you are able to get some therapy dear...it really would be helpful....i understand not wanting to take meds and i was never for them either until that particular phase of my development....in my case things got bad emough so i did. don't take them anymore but sure made dealing with the menapause easier. you can also post on some of the other links as well like family or relationship since this is affecting those things as well. could get more experiences from others. i got to where i hated me, myself, my husband on and on and on and it will pass hun it really will but you need to do something in the meantime so you don't leave dead bodies in your wake hun....
Thank you, Kathy. How's that old saying go?......."One day at a time!" I have NO health insurance so getting any kind of counseling or therapy is outta the question. My husband wants to put me on his but we jus can't afford it. We are talking everyday about how I'm feeling. Everyday he asks me how my day was and how do I feel. Sometimes i smile and say it was good and sometimes I break down like a baby. Last night I went out with a girl friend of mine and stayed out all night. Hubby didn't like it but he knew I needed it. And it did help at the time but then once I got home this morning and back into the mom and wife routine the good time memories of last night were gone. It's insane. I will be working a lot the next few days so I will be back here later in the week. We'll see how the week goes. Hope you have a great one!
lady menapause hehe....i just looked up natural remedies for menapause on the net and you may want to check it out as there are all kinds of things out there...home therapies with herbs and then types of foods that could help...hey you gotta eat....just thought i would throw that out there for ya....chat with ya soon hun
I am 50 years old and having the same symptoms. I had my uterus removed in June of 2009. I gained 20 pounds within the first 6 months after surgery. I was always thin and never had to diet or exercise. It has only been in the last 6-9 months that the mental symptoms have hit me really hard. I am turning in to a person I don't know or want to know. I have lost interest in my hobby (quilting and sewing) and also in sex. I have an adoring husband for 30 years. He is at his wits end about how to help me. We almost got a divorce last October. We have been in marriage counseling since December. I don't feel close to my mom or sister to be able to talk to them. My sister is younger than me so she hasn't started having any sypmtoms. I would like to go through this with someone that understands. Maybe we can go through this together. My marriage counselor suggested that I find a menopause support group to help me out. My marriage counselor is 40 years old and has not reached the menopause state yet, so she doesn't have the personal experience to draw on.
This so sounds like me , feel like I’m losing my mind at times and anxious. Not fun at all I really hate it !!!
Hey ladies & welcome to the new folks, please look at some of the older posts on this subject as there is alot of good advice offered & different remedies that you may find helpful as we all respond differently to different types of things offered nowadays. I'm 55 & it is a rewiring to something positive later on while we endure whats thrown at us in life & stress plays a BIG role w/our symptoms so do your best to find good coping skills that work best for you. Menopause depending on the genetic links can start as early as mid 30s let alone having surgery to start the FUN early UGH so keep posting gang & give mother nature time.
Use any w/caution:
Primrose oil, as directed, good for hot flashes & acts as sedatives & diruetics, important for estrogen production.
Calcium 1500 mg daily to relieve nervousness & irritability & protect bone loss.
Potassium (bananas) daily to replace potassium lost w/hot flashes (sweating).
Vitamin C 2000mg daily for hot flashes.
The book goes into a whole crap load more about consuming certain animal products & coffee (which I love), sugar & on & on & on.
Keep chatting girls so others can learn by our experiences.
April
I bought some evening Primrose oil capsules yesterday so I've only taken 2, but I havent had a hot flash since I already took 2 of them. I also bought a mess load of bananas because I get cramps every single day in my legs and feet. I am having a problem with the joints in my feet. Not sure if it's arthitis or if it's a symptom of the menopause. My husband and I went out on our first real date night together in YEARS on Friday night. We went to the casino. Those of you who have been to a casino know that they pump lots of oxygen into the place 24-7 so it's always cool. I had 3 hot flashes.....jus sitting still. LOL I was soooooo embarrassed. So far it looks like the Primrose oil will be of help. In one of my previous posts I mentioned that i had been trying to ease myself off of Celexa. I am very proud to announce that I have not taken any since Saturday April 16, 2011!!!! Things are ok maybe even a little better than it's ever been at this point. Mood swings are still one right after another. One day at a time right now.......one day at a time!
Hi, I am 36 yrs. old and going through surgical menopause. My surgery was 6/28/10. It has been very difficult, very emotional. I think our age has something to do with this. We are leaving one stage or life, into another in which we have no knowledge of. I have started into counseling which has done wonders. I have gone through the mental cloudiness, the feeling of being lost inside myself. The feeling that I have lost a baby. My body yearns to have a child close to me, or having to touch the clothes at the store. Belive me when I say i have had the thoughts of craziness. I am at a .2 mg hormone pill, which they say is high. I am taking other herbal medicine for my brain to help wth clarity. Support is a great thing at this time, whether its groups one on one, or both. What I have lacked it wisdom. exercise is great also. there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Be we need each other. Because lets face it, our Husbands have no clue how to handle this. We look, act, and come across to others as if we are nuts. Or at least that is what I have experienced.
Carlalynne, it feels gooooood to know someone does feel exactly the way I do. I would love to talk with you more about it anytime!!!
Right now its a ifficult time for my husband. I have come so far, and he is terrified I will step backwards. I dont know how to make him understand that I will be okay. Last night was the, "if you cant be therefor me, then I don't need you night", but I do need him. our sex life is crap because I have no drive, cant feel anything there and just no energy. My doctor ays time, but isnt there something? Just to put us back on a good track? I see the light at the end of the tunnel on this, but my God hahaha. need my Mommy lol.
I am 42 and started going into menopause a little over a year ago, I started pre-menopause way early after having my tubes tied. The hot flashes I can deal with, but the mood swings are a b*****! I can look at a situation one way one minute, and the next minute blow it up and become angry, sad nervous, etc. The side effect is I now overthink EVERYTHING, wondering if it's fact or just my mood swings, it's driving me insane. I used to love going out dancing and having a couple of drinks and I even have to watch doing that now because a couple of drinks loosens my tongue and I can get nasty. I have never been a person to get mean with anyone, it's not me. Where did I go?
Kasey>>>>>over thinking things? Me too. Up until mid April I had absolutely NO support. Even if you have friends or family that you can talk to, we are all here for you. I think the over thinking part of this is just caused from the menopause itself rather than just your mood. It's hard to explain to ppl how it feels. As for me, when I feel like that, everything looks different from my eyes. Everybody looks different. I think of some things differently than I use to. The little bitty details that shouldn't mean a thing are always what stands between me and a good day. It is a scary thing to know I am not the person I use to be and especially to wonder 'where did I go?' or 'will I ever be who I use to be?' I cut my hair really short a few months ago. This physical change was the first step I took to sort go along with my mental changes. It only helped for a short while so I went from blonde to dark brown. Then I started liking the thought of having a small little stud in my nose (Which I always hated on people lol) so I bought some of those little stud glittery things that girls stick on their fingernails after they've been painted and I'll stick one on my nose and everybody thinks it's really pierced!! It's something different. It's not big and ugly and gawky like some others I've seen. It's also my way of getting my husband and myself use to it until I decide to just go ahead and get it pierced. The little changes like that are a BIG help. Because I am NOT the same Brandy I was 6 months ago. I think it's great to have a look that sort of goes along with the mood, even if it's a different mood everyday! Now the mood swings are tricky. I am still learning how to deal with them and I know that everyday wont be easy. When you feel it coming on just take a few minutes. Sit down, walk outside, turn some music on.......breathe in breathe out. It won't last forever. Keep reminding yourself of that. If you wanna have some drinks with friends, maybe you should just invite a few of them to your house. The ones who know more about what you're going thru will understand more if you get a little tipsy and say something nasty. My best friend knows everything about my situation so whatever I say she knows to just let it go in one ear and out the other.
Kasey you may never be the Kasey you once were. I have a poem that I posted here called "Winds of Change" that I wrote when all my problems started. If you havent read it, I think you should. After all, menopause is the change. Embrace the change. Lemme know if the poem helps ya. We are all here anytime you need to talk. I hope to hear more from you!!!!
(((((HUGS)))))
Kasey, I hear ya .. when I try to enjoy a drink sometimes now I turn into an emotional mess. Am also liable to be nasty, but that happens even w/o the alcohol, and have always been the nicest (too nice) person. Menopause seems to take the filter off of our brains. But there are good things to come, I think I can see daylight on the other side. The ladies at this website have really helped me, I know someone hears me and I can look at things a little more objectively now (just a little! ha ha)
I think we are processing and sorting out our lives up til now, figuring how to go forward, and fixing what isn't working. Wishing you love and support on your own personal journey,
hereinccr:
your words:
I think we are processing and sorting out our lives up til now, figuring how to go forward, and fixing what isn't working.
I love the way you put that!!! :)
thank you menopause_unbearable for starting my day off with sunshine, I got teary-eyed over that,
Just found this group as I've had a bad morning..... I'm 48 and had a total hysterectomy for endometriosis when I was 39.Still got mega hot flushes and night sweats but now have terrible mood swings.....not sure what to do...completely lost it with my beautiful daughter this morning and now cant stop crying.I don't recognise myself.I've always been very even tempered so this is not good for me.
I really cannot believe I'm even on this site, but I am 46, married to a man 7 years younger than me, and going through menapause. I've lost all desire for sex, lost my confidence that I'm deseriable, lost my ability to sleep and deal with normal stress, and forget things easily. It really scares me. I recently went for medical treatment and have been put on DHEA, Omega 3, and Prometrium. I'm praying that it helps soon. I'm normally a confident, positive person, but I really feel vulnurable and lost about who I am. Is this normal?????