The narc is moving out today & tomorrow...there's finally an

The narc is moving out today & tomorrow...there's finally an end in sight. I saw him last night for the first time since Monday morning. I had my satellite hooked up yesterday in my name & when I go home I couldn't figure it out. The company wa supposed to have hooked it up. I texted the narc who was home when they installed it & asked him why they didn't check it. He said that they did & he's busy but it works. I tried for two hours to figure it out. When he gets home I watch him walk up to the tv...unplug & unhook a receiver that was hidden under the tv stand
(his that's going with him) & join mine up & plug it in. He said "I was selfish. I lied to you because I wanted my shows to record. I was just being selfish. Sorry about that". Omg I instantly started feeling crazy again. Then I said "this is why I left you" & he says in all seriousness "you didn't leave me. I left you. You couldn't pay me all of the money in the world to be with you again. The only reason I ever came back to you after I would cheat is because I felt guilty". I just can't even explain how crazy I feel today. I left him. IF he felt guilty the cheating would've stopped but it never did. There are 5 women that I'm AWARE of. That's not guilt. I was around him for all of 5 minutes but it's set me back so much. I feel like I'm a nutcase today. Like he actually has me questioning if he left me but I know he didn't. I know what happened but how the heck does he twist it & make me question my sanity?? One more day before he's gone for good. I think I can make it. I just want to feel normal again. :(

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It will take awhile to feel normal because you weren't normal when you were in the relationship. I have friends and family asking me, how dumb could you be hanging in your relationship for almost 8 years. Well, it took years to gas-light me into a nut case. I now think about the relationship and see it for what it was. It was not real. You can't have a relationship built on lies, deceit and insincerity. I still hurt and get depressed but I know if I had stayed and tried to make it work, I'd be more of a mental case that I have been. Be happy it is over and you can breath the fresh air and as time goes by, you will say to yourself, what the hell was I doing? I know I have.

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@jodesbythesea thank you…I feel more normal when I’m not around him & then in 5 minutes he has me back to feeling like I’m a nutcase. I’ve been in it for 4 years &
I don’t know how I didn’t see it until now. Affair after affair. Lie after lie. I was always the one begging for forgiveness. He had me asking for forgiveness for how I acted after I found out about his last affair. I have no idea how he manipulated me into asking him to forgive me but it’s all just crazy. I’m glad to know it will get better. I don’t think I’ll really miss him because he has used & abused me to the point that I couldn’t care less what happens to him. Good or bad. I just want him gone. I’m in therapy now but last night really set me back. The manipulation is insane.

Yes Jade, you hit it right on the nose. The word is "Abuse" That is how I felt. I didn't even know where he lived for all those years except the first 2 months when I met him. I look back and say to myself, how could I have been so stupid. He had an answer for everything and I probed he would explode. Not only was he a narcissist, he had terrible anger issues. It's so great being on a site like this because we can all relate. You don't know what it's like, until you have experienced it.

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@jodesbythesea yes!!! You start to probe & they flip. When I suspected he was cheating I started asking questions & he ended up pushing me through a closed door. I took the whole frame down. That got the focus off of if he was cheating because then he had me apologizing for not trusting him (after he had cheated 3 times before). I know! I feel so stupid as well. I’m humiliated & embarrassed. I hope the shame gets better with time. I’m just looking forward to being by myself so
I can focus on healing. This site is wonderful it’s helped me so much. I honestly can say I think I would’ve went back when he started to Hoover without this site. I’ve left so many times before but the people on here gave me the strength& courage to follow it through to the end. My family & friends try to support me but they can’t understand how messed up my head is right now.

OMG they make me LIVID - mine did (and at times still does) this to me!! Right pep talk like I'd give myself and my best friend (so hope this is not read as too direct). Deep breath, focus on the fact you're normal and shake it off (still Taylor swift on a literally shake it off if you have to) I read your post the other day and was absolutely delighted for you. You're free, his sorry butt is out of there! He is going to lie, manipulate, save face and probably actually believe his own BS about him dumping you. Ignore every word he says you are normal and you know the truth. Mine constantly accuses me (nearly two years on) of trying to get him sent to prison with false allegations. I mean why bother I was there when he tried to strangle me so why the tell lie! I ignore it now as I've ranted until blue in face and he point blank refuses to acknowledge it. So ignore it! He's history, we are all so proud you did it and 2016 is your year Hun xxx

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@19yearsnowfree are you still with him? That’s awful. It’s crazy how they twist things. I’ve driven myself nearly mad trying to understand why he does the things that he does & how he can do those things? I can’t come to a conclusion so I’ve had to let it go. I am free! He had a few more trips tomorrow & I am forever rid of him! I can start to focus on my healing. I’m so excited for my future! He literally changed who I was. Beat me down had me “trained” to be his little puppet but like I told him today when he tried to tell me he would be moving stuff after I got home…(I told him to be gone by the time I got off
Work & he tried to change it 30 minutes before I was due to get off work. I told him…he no longer controls me. I said “I’m not asking you to not be there. I’m telling you. You will not be there. It’s not an option. You will not be there. If you are I will press trespassing charges against you”. He was speechless & it felt great! He hung up the phone & was gone when I got home! I’m getting myself back. Finding my strength & it’s so wonderful to feel alive again! Right! You just have to let them “believe” what they want because they’re so twisted that you can’t reason with them. He can think that he left me I don’t care because I’m FREE! Thank you so much! That means a lot to me! This page is what gave me the strength to leave. I don’t believe that I couldve done it without everyone’s support & hearing their stories. It’s been a rough few weeks but my end is officially in sight! Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life & I can’t wait to start living it! Thank you again! You’ve personally helped me so much! To 2016! Xoxo

Proud of you. Life will get better.

@rumad thank you! I’m on my way to a betters& healthier life! Xoxo

Thank you ladies...I feel pretty good so far. I'm sad but I'm okay. I feel free but like a failure. I'm embarrassed & a little ashamed but I know I didn't do anything wrong. He tried to tell me this morning that he has 100% changed & he's never going to cheat or treat a woman the way that he treated me ever again. I said "good for you if you're one of the 1 in a million people that can overcome a PD more power to you. I'm happy for you." That really set him off. I probably shouldn't have said it but he interrupted my shower to rub it in my face that he's "changed". Whatever. He's not my issue anymore. Now I just need I focus on my kids & myself. I'll never understand how I got here though. My home is peaceful tonight for the first time in ages I just feel content.

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@jade1981 Congratulations! I told my Narc to move out last Tuesday, I have been away until today. I am actually at the airport waiting for my plane to go home and I just got an email from him saying that he moved his stuff out and left the key in the apartment. I will see what he did when I get home...I am anxious, sad, still very angry and I cannot stop thinking about how these individuals do what they do every single day.
Enjoy your freedom, heal, find your happiness, life goes on and time does marvels. Hugs for you!

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@turku1214 thank you! I hope did he is as he said & didn’t trash/take all of your things. It’s bittersweet but there are better things ahead for both of us sweetie. I’ve been reading a book on overcoming narccistic abuse & it’s helped me so much. It’s called “The Survivors Quest” please check it out if you get the opportunity. I’m working on healing now that he’s out…it’ll take time & I feel like I’ll never be able to trust another man. Hopefully with time that changes. Please check back in &
Let me know how things are after you get home. We are here if you need anything. Feel free to PM me as well if you need support. I’ll gone you my # to text if you need it. I want to help others like everyone has helped me. Funny story the narcs nickname is “Turk” the first time you commented on one of my posts I nearly had a panic attack. I thought he found me on here. Lol so glad to be out from under his thumb! Hang in there sweetie & good luck! Xoxo

Well done really proud of you! I had dumped Narc Ex but he also made to seem like it was the other way and said it was him who didn't love me. It's to make themselves feel better.

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@Aria_66 thank you so much! I can’t explain how peaceful I feel right now! It’s wonderful! Lol let them think what they want. They’re going to anyway. If that’s the case then I should thank him for “dumping” me. Lol I don’t care what he thinks as long as he’s history! Xoxo

@jade1981 Thanks for your support! I hope you're doing well today! I got home yesterday and he had taken his bed and dresser and clothes and just a couple of personal things. We slept in separate rooms because "I moved too much", he left the key. It feels empty and weird here, not because he's not here because lately he would not even come home at night (told me he was working when he really was with someone else), but it's a strange feeling to know that he's gone. He's still on the lease because I wanted to make sure he's also gonna be responsible if anything comes up at the end of the lease. I have threatened him also with filing a restraining order and, since he's a coward and here on a visa, he cannot afford to have anything legal filed against him. We will see how it goes. I just want peace! Big hug.

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@turku1214 hang in there and well done. You can do it and you’ll be fine xx

@19yearsnowfree and @jade1981Thanks! I am exhausted today, it's been an emotional roller coaster for me for the last couple of months, I am drained in every sense. I know I will have sad days coming, today I am feeling weird. I do not wanna go in his room. I have been reading his messages as well, for the last few days, and seeing how he talked to me and how he treated me makes me keep going. It's gonna be a rough ride. I am grateful that I found this group where I feel understood and supported!

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@turku1214 you will quickly adapt to the quiet, peace and serenity … Or at least I have. Way quicker than I would’ve ever imagined. I love being home now it’s so peaceful and relaxing. It’s my safe haven. It is exhausting but to me it was more exhausting constantly trying to please someone that could never be pleased. It’s so wonderful just to be able to focus on myself and my children now. They are the ones that deserve all of my love and now I can give that to them. He took so much from all of us. It’s crazy to read the messages… I can see how they changed over time. I just did not see it when I was in it. I had a really rough day Friday but so far everything is getting easier. He came today to pick up the the last few things that I had ran across and gathered up for him. I handed them to him in a bag and shut the door on him. Not nice, not mean, just indifferent. That was my closure. I shut the door, turned around & smiled as I walked away. It felt so empowering! Tomorrow I may be down again but if I am I can always come here & be encouraged by all of the wonderful people on here. I honestly don’t think I would’ve been able to get out if I had not found this group. I cannot tell you how much it has helped me. We will have good & bad days but we are here for you to lean on! Xoxo