The Past Two Days

Hello everyone :)

So! My birthday celebration was AWESOME! Truly! I had such a great time with John and he treated me so well.
First, he picked me up and we got Pita Pit for lunch (one of my favourites and his too :) )
Then we headed out! My first surprise was going to see The Guardians (that owl movie) in 3D at the IMAX theatre...it was epic. Seriously. Amazing movie and graphics!
Then we had some time to kill apparently, so we went to the mall close by....and I bought clothes for the first time in MONTHS! I've been trying to save my money for camera equipment and school and every little penny has gone towards it , save $30 a week for spending, and I treated myself finally! It felt so good and I got some fantastic clothes. I felt really good :)

Then! I found out the ultimate surprise! We were going to Halloween Haunt at Canada's Wonderland! I was so excited! We both love Halloween and I've always wanted to go to this! You get to ride the rides and go through haunted houses and such! So much fun :) And we went to the Pickle Barrel for dinner (one of my favourite restaurants) and I tried this Tilapia dish... my goodness was it delicious!
We had the time of our lives on the rides and I was happy the entire time...I love John :)
And he still got me gifts too! Apparently one thing is on backorder so I don't get to know that one yet...but he got me a Kevin stuffed animal from the movie UP (I'm in love with that movie) and Laffy Taffy! I LOVE LAFFY TAFFY! Haha it's so tasty.

I really had no problems with my ED that day :)

Then the next day was Thanksgiving dinner at John's father's house. This was the first time meeting John's dad but I wasn't very nervous. And he was a nice guy. Some of John's cousins I met before were over too, and it was nice to see them. We played Taboo till supper.
Supper itself wasn't too bad. There wasn't a lot of food I actually liked though...I've never been a fan of mashed potatoes, I don't like caeser salad or coleslaw...and the jello salad looked very unappetizing. I did end up having some Turkey, a bun, corn and carrots though. And it was all very good. I was too full dessert.
But after a bit of a problem came. As you know John and I both do Kung Fu and one thing to two of us like to do is brawl each other sometimes. But this time things got out of control and I lost my cool and ended up taking a cheap shot after we were supposed to be "done." John had his own struggles too because he doesn't like sinking anything because he doesn't want to hurt me...but I don't like to give up. Once that was over we were just sitting around and playing charades. Then a bit later I was lying on the floor and he was sitting in a chair and I playfully hit his foot. But I guess I hit too hard. It made him angry.
Since we couldn't talk it out infront of the cousins we texted for a bit about it and I ended up feeling really guilty about the whole thing. We finally made amends but things still felt off.
Once we both got home we got more into it and it was a long conversation, that basically came down to it being my fault. John felt terrible he couldn't take any of the blame and I was already feeling terrible and like a horrible girlfriend. I was struggling with bad thoughts of cutting too, which didn't make John happier. I ended up going for a walk around midnight to cool myself down. We ended up making some rules for our brawling next time though...

All in all it was just a crappy day. I felt like I ate too much when I got home and had a snack too...like I had way too many pretzels.

I'm hoping today will be better. I work tonight and John has the day off. We're both trying for a more happy day.
As for the ED. Well, still struggling. If I go with regular routine, since I woke up at 11:30 today I'll only get breakfast and lunch in because I don't like eating supper late. My stomach doesn't deal well with it and neither does my mind.

We'll see though.

Hope everyone is having a good day!
Paige xoxo

Your birthday sounds like so much fun!!! I am so glad you had a fantastic day. hehe Halloween is one of my favorite holidays too :) Its cool to hear the Guardians movie was good. I really wasn't sure it would be.

Thanksgiving is always really hard. I think we all deal with it. Plus the added stress of meeting your boyfriends dad. But you did really well! Don't bring yourself down okay? Its good you picked things that you wanted to eat and didn't force any food that look unappetizing or you didn't feel comfortable with.

You brawl with your boyfriend too!?! hahaha yeah I do the same thing! Well it sounds like you two just got a bit out of control. Its nothing to be mad at. Yeah in the moment it seems bad, or you two may end up mad at each other, but what I have learned it that situation with my boyfriend its easier to just move on. Once mike and I got so into it I thought he broke my arm! I was bawling my eyes out but I just sprained it. And cheap shots aren't nice, but I am not going to lie. I have done that too. On accident and on purposeish. try to avoid them though.

I am sorry he got mad at you hitting his foot. That really makes the day more gloomy. But hey, you two talked it out. You lost your temper. I get that. Especially dealing with your ED its happened with me too. Talking it out is the best thing to do. And you did that. Just be careful next time okay? Maybe if you were angry before hand express that to John? Or if you weren't just say I didn't mean to hit so hard, like explain the situation. Of course for me if I even tried to hit mike it wouldn't phase him haha he is like steal or something. haha.

I am sorry you felt crummy by the end of your day. At least you know how to cool yourself down. And I am happy to hear you went on a walk instead of engaging in ED behaviors. And you can never have too many pretzels!!! They are amazing! :)

thinking of you!
allee

Im glad for the most part you had a great few days :)
I'm actually going to Canadas wonderland for halloween haunt this weekend, should be fun!!!! Sounds like we are both from Ontario :)

John seems to be very supportive of you, its really great that you have that.

Hope your day goes well!

it sounds like you are getting more positive piage and thats what i like! ha...im sorry about the fight -heyit happens . my fiancee fight like cats and dogs--ha . but we work it out--and thats what counts. we dont give up. we dont bail like other relationships. sometimes i thought though--for sure it wouldnt work, but it has ...

im glad we had nice birthdays--hey it is so many of our birthdays this month!wow! libra--paige are you a libra?? ha...

keep positive paige and i soooo think you should call your therapist--i mean that could totally heal you...

love
maureen