Hello:
I'm kind of new to this group but I'm just in need of expression. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried so many things to help with the pain I feel from everything in my life. I've lost so much but I continue to try & find meaning in the life I've tried to create for myself now. I was abused growing up in so many ways there really isn't room to list it all. When I attempted to confront my abuser, who was my stepfather, I was basically disowned by 99% of my family. I left an abusive marriage last year (with him for 12 years), at which time I lost the support of my father & stepmother. They don't know the things that my ex did, but they are very well aware of my mistakes. Well that's not entirely true my stepmother knows some of it. I've come through a lot & much more than I have time to list here. I live with this neverending piercing pain. I've done everything just about that I can to relieve it but nothing works. I just don't have anymore in me, but I won't do anything because I don't want my children to grow up wo a mother. I passively hope this life of despair ends soon.
Unforgetable, I'm glad you posted. What you've been through and how you've been feeling are very, very important. I'm so very sorry for all that you've had to endure, but I am so so glad you found this place!! Please let me have the honor of welcoming you to supportgroups!! We are truly glad you are here.
One of the things you will find here, is that you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings, as well as what you've endured throughout your life. Unfortunately your story isn't rare in this country. This site is very, very big with a large number of support groups and people from all over the world. When you post, it can take a while to be seen depending on how busy the boards are or who is able to be online checking for messages etc... Usually when we've dealt with the things you've dealt with, we also suffer with depression, anxiety, possibly panic attacks, abuse, self esteem issues, divorce etc.. so it's good to also join all of those support groups and any others you can relate to etc... The more groups you are posting in, the more people who will see your posts and be able to be supportive and give advice or just be there to listen. I typically post all my posts in all of my support groups. I just want to give you the best chance of the most support!
I left my abusive marriage just this past January and I found this place by accident in February. They have been and absolute Godsend and I've met people here, that I know I will be friends with, for the rest of my life.
I need to ask, if you are in counceling or therapy? I know for me and my children it's been helpful. It's been one hell of a ride and actually continues to be so I continue to post here even to just get it out and I've been blessed with beautiful people who truly care about others.
So, I will shut up now but wanted you to feel welcome here and know that people really do care!!
Sending welcoming hugs, Suzee
Hi Im new to this site as well. I joined because my mom took her own life and I want to help others all that I can. I have never had deep depression or thoughts of suicide but I have felt pain. When my brother called me and told me what happened a part of my heart stopped. So many questions and thoughts I have now. I knew her struggles but never thought she would do this.
Im so sorry for all that you have went through. You didnt deserve that abuse and you dont deserve the distance your family is giving you. Im no expert I only know how I feel inside. I look at my son and could not imagine not being here for him. Your children need you and love you. You are truely a good mother to want to be there for your kids. So many kids get mistreated because the were born with parents that dont give a crap and I feel for those children. That sentence about you not wanting your kids to not have a mother should be your biggest motivation. There is so much pain and evil in this world but if one good person does one good thing then it is all worth it to God and to all of us.
Im still trying to cope with the loss of my mom but I would like to bee here for you whenever you need to vent or just talk. I have a couple of women that I talk to on a regular basis and I would love to add you if you would like.
Take a look at yourself and know that you are beautiful and have a great purpose in life. take care and peace and love to you.
I too have suffered much abuse and then the family denial/skeletons, know exactly what you mean and that kind of pain takes roots in your soul and twists and jabs until you feel you can't breathe. totally understand, sorry about all you went thru. I would love to support you and be there for you. Was suffering and even thinking the same thoughts as you, also have a son I just love too much to leave but thoughts always there, and found this site by accident. has been a lifesaver and my life is turning around in only three weeks, feel better, stronger, and have new outlook, I would like to support you and listen, and be there for you. I know how hard life can be and you need friends who will not judge you and who will listen and understand exactly what you are going thru. Also, Msclark who also offered to support you is an angel, she is so supportive and loving and will really help you when you need it, she was the first one who offered to help me and is just wonderful. I would suggest taking her up on it and really hope you find the strength and healing I have found from this site. I really believe you will. There is so much caring and love here and then healing can start. ok, well, if you need me or want my support, I will be here. love-julz