There's one person I hate from the bottom of my heart for my whole life. Me. I rarely looked at myself in the mirror and whenever I did, I looked down at my clothes... I hated myself a lot I feel like an odd one who shouldn't even exist... I went to see my friend today, she's an intern student who came to the school to get marketing field experience for a month so she's graduating now. I met her and we talked a lot, she gave me a lot of things I should know in life. I should be confident in myself or I'll go sane one day when I get rejected or faced trouble in the society. The only thing that sparked from her and made her pretty was her confidence. She said that to me before. Today she asked me about confidence again, she wanted to make sure of it before she leaves this school. She took me to the bathroom where there were mirrors and she placed me in the middle. I looked for awhile, looking at the reflection of my clothes. She asked me where was I looking at and raised my chin up so I saw my face. She told me... to look at myself... I looked.... I realized I had eye bags, my face was normal, it's round and chubby like how others described... I still hate me, I just know that whatever I've done is always wrong I'm always making a mess out of this world. I can't forgive myself, I can't look at myself... Then she said to me, "aren't you cute? You'll look pretty in your dress, take a photo and send it to me, okayy? I want it as a selfie of you, not your clothes arh, haha." Gawsh, I'm gonna miss her and I'm going to be alone in the school again....
Hey don't hate yourself. You're too awesome to be hated
@ thisisme I understand that feeling. I avoid mirrors and hide behind others in photos. You have to look at you and realize you are special just by being you ! Try writing on a card one thing each day that is good about you. Doesn't have to be about your physical appearance only. Read them each day. My psychiatrist recommended this and I'm gonna try too. Let's do it together. You are perfectly you.
@Thisisme98 How about...today I answered a post and found it helpful. That's a great start ! It'll become easier. Mine is, that you answered ME ! Thank you.
Hey "Tim" ...
You realize of course I am much older than you. I have experience with life that someday you will also possess as you get older. It does not matter whether we are male or female ... many of the lessons are the same for both genders.
One of the things I learned is that other people see the good in us ... even when we do not see it ourselves.
Your friend at school sees the good in you. People here at "SG" see the good in you. And most importantly ... "Thor" sees the good in you.
You are a "breath of fresh air" and a "ray of sunshine" in people's lives.
Some of the posts/comments you make here at "SG" are supportive and compassionate as you offer your hand to help others in their time of need. Other times you are just as cute as can be with what you have to say.
The teenage years are difficult at times ... whether a person is male or female. I found my teenage years were difficult also. Please have faith it will not always be so difficult. What you see as so important now may not be so important as you get older. When you get older ... you may look back on your teenage years and wonder why you thought something was so important as you thought back then.
I want you to remember many people care about you and want you to be happy. You have a fan club and I bet you did not know it ... did you?
I'm so glad you're going to party. Have a blast, and when you feel anxiety, take that card out of your purse or pocket that you wrote saying..." I choose to have fun tonight, because I deserve it. "
Maybe parties aren't your thing. That's ok. They're not mine either snd I'm 50. You will find what fits you best. Maybe a movie with a BFF, maybe reading a book at a coffee shop, all possibilities lie in front of you. And you know what, its ok to cry. It cleanses your soul. I'm a huge crier. Ask my family. Lol They always say, MOM...stop crying, even at good things. And you said you did have a bit of fun. Everything is not gonna be a one size fits all. Remember that. You are PERFECTLY PERFECT just the way you are. You will find your place....I guarantee it. Hugs to you !!
Hey "Tim" ...
I am sorry the party was not to your liking.
You are still the same precious young lady you were before the party as you are right now. You have no reason to doubt that at all.
As I mentioned here last night ... when you get older you will look back and wonder why you thought something was so important when you were younger. It is part of becoming an adult. We change ... and our interests change. One day you will understand.
The problem is it is not always easy growing into adulthood at times. But you will ... and you will become an extra-ordinary young woman. Please have faith in what I say ... because I have been there. And please have faith in yourself ... because you are worth it.
I am not sure if you are aware of "Valentine's Day" or not. It comes on February 14th of each year. You could use the internet to research it if you are unaware of it. In a nutshell ... it is celebrated in many parts around the world ... where one person offers greetings to express their fondness for another person ... and to celebrate the day.
"Happy Valentine's Day" ... "Tim" ... :)
Be strong ... and smile. It will get better.