Thinking about finally ending the friendship with my close guy friend, who I've known for 10+ years. I've posted about him a few times before about how he doesn't respect me or my preferences anymore, lies to me sometimes, pressures me, doesn't take no for an answer etc. He didn't start acting like this until a few years ago for some reason. I've always been pretty upset about him not respecting me, but after a few days, I just shrug it off and still continue being friends with him, although I'm more careful about what I do or say around him. Last week, I was watching my college graduation livestream and he kept calling and texting me to hang out. I told him the week before that I was graduating at the end of the week, but I guess he just forgot or didn't care or something because he kept texting and calling me during it asking to hang out. I didn't pick up any of his calls or respond to any of his texts until after it was over. I just got so upset over it, it seems very minor, but for some reason, that day, I just got so upset and decided I'd had it with him, considering he has done this multiple times before, just not during some big important event like this that he also knew about. I also don't understand why he didn't just stop calling and texting the first few times I didn't respond. I could've been busy or something, but I'll respond when I have time, but he kept calling and texting and I just got more upset the more he did it. I probably wouldn't be so upset if he just stopped after once or twice, but he kept doing it. I'm just worried what'll happen when he realizes I'm not replying to his texts and calls since he has come over to my house multiple times before when I didn't respond in the past. I would talk to him about it first, but knowing how he is, he'll probably try to dismiss it, find excuses, apologize and say he won't do it again, and still continue to do it, or just straight up lie about the reason why he did it, so I don't really see any point in doing it. I guess the best thing is to just not answer the door either. What do you guys think? Did I go too far and am I doing the right thing?
You're doing absolutely right. You're protecting your rights and he has no excuse to disrespect you in any sort of way.
Have you spoken to him about how you feel. I'm sure you have. And you are doing the right thing. Everyone needs a little bit of privacy always. And 10 years is a quite a long time for him to understand your likes and dislikes.
@Sailorboy I have talk to him before in the past about certain behaviors and like I said in my post, he usually just dismisses it, finds excuses or lies about it, so I just don’t even want to bother talking to him this time. I’m just worried about how his parents will react if they find out, since our parents will sometimes give each other stuff. I just don’t know if he’ll tell his parents about it and it’ll end up affecting how they view me and I feel like it’ll be awkward if he tells me his parents want to give us stuff now.
it might help to text him and let him know it was your graduation while he was caling and texting you, and not respecting your boundaries. Because of his behavior, if he was ever in an emergency, you wouldnt pick up the phone now. I think he may have forgotten, but I think that youve reached the last straw. So I think he could benefit from knowing exqctly why you wont be engaging qith his phone calls or answering the door. You can also just be friendly to his parents regardless. You can just tell them if you see them that ywa I love you guys but I need a lot of spqxe from your son bc of his behavior. So I wont ge coming aroujd as much. Ans Im sure they will stop sending gifta or continue sending gifts to youe parents but thars their friendship which has nothing to do wirh you.