This guy I've been seeing doesn't want to do anything but fi

This guy I've been seeing doesn't want to do anything but finger play now. I think he must view me as one big virus. I really like him and we have a lot in common, but I can't go on feeling like I'm "the dirty one". Any thoughts?

Have you guys already been having sex? If so how long has it been since you haven't? Maybe he needs a little time to understand it. If he doesn't get over it soon then you could always address it with him. If you guys havent had sex yet maybe there are other reasons why he wouldn't.

We have been dating about 7 months. We have been having protected sex sex all along. I told him on our 4th date, (before we had sex).

Well you should raise it with him because that's really unfair if that's what he's doing.

I guess it's more complicated that I can explain, it's not really about him, it's more about me, how do I shed the unworthy feelings? He got scared because he found an ingrown hair. I assured him it wasn't the virus, but he got a little freaked out.

Also I want to add that I have been living with this for over 20 years, I think I got it from my first husband. My second husband didn't get it or get freaked out by it. I'm single again.

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Only you can shed the unworthy feelings. Why do you feel that way

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Because I have herpes

Please remember its a virus that has a silly stigma attached to it based on something that was conjured up by ill informed people. You are still you. If this guy isnt ok with it its not about you being dirty, he just doesnt want to risk his health. Thats how i see it and its fair enough.

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