This is coming from the cheaters side...I don't know how to

Relationships Romantic Relationships
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This is coming from the cheaters side...I don't know how to handle this situation I've created. Do I keep telling him i love him? Do I keep trying to make him see the future we could have together? Help :(

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Yes keep on giving it everything you've got.

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@Consumed39 you don’t think that would be considered pushing him?

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Yes, I love to hear that he loves me and to hear he is sorry for making me feel so horrible.

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@Jenn7814 I don’t know if he does or not. He’s just so stubborn and hurt I can’t break through and it’s making me hate myself.

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Take it from someone who is on the other side. My husband is the cheater. Since I found out, he has not told me once that he loves me, that he wants to make things work, that he is truly sorry for what he did. Show them! Show the person you hurt that you are sorry and you want to change. Show them every day in some small way otherwise they might not think you give a ****. Of course also in my situation my husband doesn't care about anyone but himself but if he had shown me even an ounce of remorse and that he actually wanted to do the work to rebuild our marriage I would have considered staying with him. We need to be showed more than told everything.

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@lizziem333 how do I show him? I’ve told him he complete access to my phone anytime and he says he doesn’t care anymore.

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Tell him you love him every day, send him little texts or pictures that you find funny. Its important to let someone know you care about them even when your not in the same room. Just anything you can think of to show him you care. Buy him something small at the store and give it to him when he gets home, just a I was thinking of you today item.

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@lizziem333 ok thank you! My kids will for sure think I’m kissing his ass…which I guess I kinda am huh.

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Also ask him what makes him feel loved. . Women like talk more. .. he may need something else. Touches ... also not jusy I love. ..I love you because, I love that you, I love when you, etc. My husband responds better to appreciative complements and physical attention. Not just sex. ..other touched.

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I have to comment; my husband of 17 years cheated on me, until I could process everything in my head, I really did not want to hear any words from him, for him to tell me he loved me, just didn't ring true. I agree that you need to voice how you feel, but I don't think you should push. You may or may not be able to get over it, but I believe you have to give him some space. In the meantime, I would suggest you seeking counseling for yourself, to understand why you did what you did, and how to move forward.

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@jojo0304
I meant to say “he may or may not be able to get over it”

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I have been in counseling for the past 2 mons and have no intention on stopping. I guess I will just go by his vibe for the day.