This is my first post. I have had bulimic behavior on and off for about five years now, but the last year and a half has been so much better; until the last three weeks. I feel like these behaviors have come back with a vengeance. I wish I could understand why my binges have been getting worse. I did so well while I was pregnant and for months after, however just the last three weeks have been progressively getting worse. I will not purge. That is what I have to keep telling myself. If I don't purge then all I need to deal with is controlling is the binges, not the binges AND the purges. I want to purge. I do. But my baby and husband deserve better than this. I want to get better for myself and for them. I want to be thin of course. But more than anything I wish I could stop over thinking every single meal and just listen to my body and what it needs. I could ramble on forever, but in the end I just need support. I need a friend that understands. I need someone to talk to that wont think I am crazy for not being able to stop eating everything in the fridge.
Hey, welcome to SG. You've been doing great! You can get through this too. We're here for you mate
I don't think you are crazy! I have a problem with binge eating and no one I know thinks I do. They don't understand it because no one I know does what I do. I want to never do it again but I have said that so many times before. I need a place to discuss this too! I just found this page and I am hoping it can help. A place to go maybe when I am about to binge!
@HappinessAwaits Thanks for your support 
it really is so nice discovering that there are people out there going through the same thing I am. It is nice to know I am not alone in this.
How old is your baby? You may be experiencing some hormonal shifts causing you to feel out of control. Sort of like the baby blues, if you already had these issues and are now in an unbalanced place it may be causing the shift. Especially if you were in control of your situation and then all of the sudden not. You may want to talk to your doctor. Just an idea.
@hnbkas My baby is ten moths old. You might be right about the hormonal thing; I’ve heard that it can take up to a year to get hormones back on track. I am also slowly tapering off breast feeding and that might be changing my hormones too. It would certainly be nice to blame my difficulties on something else 
I have always had a problem with binge eating minus the purging but since having my first kid 4 years ago I completely lost control over my eating. The stress of being a mom and always feeling like a failure or not doing enough really gets me. especially as they get older I got worse as their needs grow so much. I could never find a balance. I will always have a baby in my arms to the extend that I cant cook or clean or shower etc. And that all seemed fine when they were small but now at 2 and 4 I still have the same struggles.
I think it is great and brave of you to try and get it under control now but don't be to hard on yourself being a mom and a wife is a wonderful but very demanding job.
@landi Being a mom is so hard! Like I love it, and I love my little guy more than life itself, but sometimes I just wish I could lay down and take a nap whenever I want!! And it is hard because my husband is at work all day long and I know he is so tired when he gets home so I feel really bad asking him for help when he is home.