This is my first time doing this and admitting I have a problem. I am 31 years old and I have bulimic for more than 12 years. I hurt inside everyday I eat and though I feel comfort at the time once the food is gone, I began to feel guilty. When I look in the mirror I dont recognize myself anymore. I am physically and mentally drained. I am so tired of my seceet shame I cry alot because I just dont know what to do anymore. I lost count of how many times I threw up today.
I have found that vigourous exercise helps to alleviate the urge to purge. Before you eat. I tend to purge if i eat before working out cause i feel too full no matter what it is I ate (even a **** granola bar) but before, you get that rush off the bat and aren't compelled to binge or purge. I wish we all had the luxury to spend entire days at the gym. Someone also advised me to plan meals and snacks ahead of time so that the temptation to binge is gone. I have not been able to do that 100% but buying just enough food for a day/a meal keeps me from being able to binge...unless i am out. Have you tried either of these things?
I'm so sorry about your really rough day. Twelve years is such a long time. I think I started when I was about 19 too. I'm so sorry about the physical and mental pain. You are in there somewhere. You take care of that part of yourself you are trying to get back.
Thanks for the advice I just feel so lost and im afraid.