This Is To Overwelming

I'm struggling so much, last night I had a Psych appointment she was reluctant to let me leave. I got home and was feeling really un-happy and have for the past week it has reached a breaking point for me. I cried like a child in my office this morning over everything. :(

I'm so sad, lonely and un-happy. I feel like I have no more to give I keep going through these viscous cycles and they are not easy nor fun. I have had enough and keep hoping that there is a light out there for me.

Last night I drove myself to the beach and sat there, I got high and took a fair heap of Valium I was ready to go..... I even wrote my goodbye letter. I'm so scared but this is where I feel I am at the moment. I'm simply exhausted from fighting myself.

I don't expect any responses I juist had to get this off my chest. I don;t know what my future holds but I was dissapointed I still made it home last night after everything.

I just don't know where to turn to :( I feel its all over

I am not sure what to say to that, other than I can empathize with your feelings and perspectives, and I am sorry to hear you are experiencing so much emotional pain and discourse presently. In the end it is all your decision, but I can say it probably isn't the best move to find a permanent solution to a transitory circumstance. Everything changes, and there is a good chance so will your perspective if you endure the rough waters right now. I hope you do...you have my support and my ear for what it is worth. I DO DO DO BELIEVE there is a LIGHT out there for you, even believe there is a LIGHT HERE for you...
Sending you positive thoughts and energy chica bonita...
HAPPY HEALTHY STRONG FREE

You are not alone! We are here for you. We are here to help support you and listen. I understand your struggles and feelings. It is something I often battle myself. As Optimistic said, believe there is a light! Because there is! And it is waiting for both of us, all of us! :) We will find happiness together. We will fight together! Be strong! And if you ever need anything or want to talk, please feel free to send me a message.

Jai sweetie I am so sorry to here that you are feeling this way. I have felt the same way before. Although I know it's hard but I believe in you that you can get through this, we can can through this together. You are strong and I am to and so we will even be stronger together. I am really glad that you reached out and posted on here on how your feeling, and I really hope that it helped I know it helps me, keep posting and reaching out. How are you doing tonight? If you need to vent more I am here and others are here for you, and you also can always message me.

Hi Jai I am new here, I know these feelings to well and have them to often. I am seeing on this site the support it has to offer is nice, It is not easy the things we go through but to know there are others going through them to and sharing it and supporting each other. I do know I wouldnt be here on this site if it wasnt for a post I read by you. so thank you and I do hope it gets better.

Hi Kooth,

Welcome to Support Groups, I hope you find this site as helpful as I have.

Thankyou to everyone for the ongoing support I wouldn't be here nor as strong if I didn't have you all. :)

Thanks
xxx

I think we can all relate to your current situation and can say that we are all here for you no matter what time of day. I think once you put your feeling out there things start to feel a little better. Journaling was an important part of my DBT a few years ago and this is along the same lines. We stand together to become stronger. Take it one day at a time. We love you!

Please believe that almost everyone on this site has gone through exactly what you're going through right now and have come out the other side, stronger, if exhausted. I would say that it is imperative that you see your shrink again as soon as you can and have whatever meds you're taking looked at so that they might be adjusted to the totally depressed mood you are in. I have shared it and know what it's like to stand on the very precipice, not afraid to fall but i pray you will step back as i have and get the help from a pro to make your life more liveable. Believe also that we will be here to buck up your morale when you feel the need to go to that beach again, just send us a message and we'll happily show you all the love and compassion that we have.

jai,
hi. i know what your feeling. not exactly but pretty **** close. theres been a couple times in the not so distant past when i tried to od a couple times but didnt work out. which i feel soooo much better about it now because i talked to someone and now getting the much help i needed. im not saying god but someone must have a plan for you because your still here. i sincerely hope you will find what your looking for. for me, trying to look TOO far in the future is overwhelming for me. i just try to look ahead to the next hour or so. its seems easier for me to manage that instead of the whole future. i feel you turned to the right place, which is here. i really hope this helps. please remember, YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND YOU DO MATTER!!!

Hey Guys,

I'm having a horrible day :( Can't stop crying I'm so over this. I'm trying to hold down my job and keep going in life but I just want to fall in a heap. I'm sick of getting up in the morning and having to face another day.

I'm so far over myself that it is no longer funny.. I can't get help or change my ways because things just are not working out for me...

I don't know where else to turn :( I'm all out of ideas, I don't feel satisfactory, I'm not up for this

Hey Jai....take some deep breaths. Sorry to hear things are really rough for you right now. Sometimes things just suck, but something is for certain in this world: nothing lasts forever...good or bad. I truely believe everything works in cycles, and I hope you have experienced all you need to of the bad....here's to a better tomorrow! I wish you solace, healing, and bliss within the coming moments.
HAPPY HEALTHY STRONG FREE

Jai, I actually been feeling the exact same way. You are not alone Hun we are here, why don't we together take a few breaths. Is there something that happened of why you feel this way or not really. I am so sorry that you were having a horrible day, how are you feeling today? It's always good thing to say/post your feelings and reach out. I am very proud of you! Keep posting your feelings and keep reaching out Hun we are here. I am also just a message away Hun. We have the strength together, let's fight this together.

Hon, it's far from over. I know where you're at. I was just there only a week ago. We can't really tell you how to fix it, but I know that venting helps, and we're all here for you. When you feel like there's nowhere to turn, turn to us. I know it's hard, but things'll turn out okay. If you ever feel that way again, come talk to us about it. We'll all do our best to help you hon.

~Gary

Jai, please let us know that you're OK.

Hey everyone,

I am okay, I have my appt tomorrow night with my Doctor and Psych so hopefully they can help me. Had an awful weekend my brother was kicked out of home and now has now where to go I'm so worried. On top of all my other issues I find myself with added issues.

I just hope that he does the right thing, I can't do anymore than I have I'm not well myself. When I saw him after it all happened I just bursted into tears he is like my best friend. I'm really not at all sure what to do with myself????

How is everyone else going?

Hi Jai, I'm new to this site but saw your post and wanted to let you know that, like everyone else, I'm thinking about you and am here for you. I don't know your situation and your past, but I can tell you with 100 percent certainty that you are worth something. You are special, you are smart, you are beautiful. I wish I had some advice about your brother, but I will be thinking about him as well and that everything works out. Just remember you are not alone, we are all here for you.

Hi Jai,
Like so many others here, I just wanted you to know that my heart goes out to you, sending good thoughts and strength.

jai u need to stop feeling sorry for urself. an being so selfish.instead of consentrating so much in ur negative thoughts consentrated on other people that really need help join some kind of volunteer group in a hospital or a senior center you will learn how lonely this people are an how much they need company. life is too short. pray sweety god is the way.

Jai. I am curious what your psych said about all of this. I know that taking a whole bunch of benzos can screw up your system and put you off balance emotionally for quite some time. It takes a while for your brain to come back from that chemically.
It sounds like you have a lot of combined outside stressors- but those valium can make you pretty tearful and unable to stop. I know it feels better to take them and feel like you need them to help with the anxiety, but I think you might have some more clarity if you got off of taking them on a daily basis- especially more than prescribed.
I have taken Klonopin since I was 24 and it's hard to taper that medication. I have been much less tearful even when the feelings are really strong. I also bounce back from things more quickly now. it really can trick the mind and put you in bouts of tearful sadness that almost feels like mourning.

It's so hard to read what you wrote, but I can honestly say I understand what you are saying. I have a difficult time dealing with myself. I feel like I never get anywhere because of my mood swings and depression; however, I know that eventually I will find happiness. I'm 34 years old and find myself alone. I have a difficult time making friends because I also suffer from social phobia; therefore, I don't have anyone but my siblings which don't understand me and don't want to deal with the fact that I'm bipolar. I hope you realize that your just going through a taugh time right now and that things will get better. I hope you don't hurt yourself and please try to think positive.