This might be a small problem for some but I need some advice. I'm over 50 and I've been depressed and unemployed for a while. Finding a job is one thing but now, I have sunk to a level of not being able to go to sleep until 3am and later so I'm unable to awake at a "working, normal daytime". I feel like my sanity is slipping away as I am so alone in this. I'm guilt/shaming myself & thinking I'll never be able to change this which I know is ridiculous. I can't share with peers/friends/family bc it's humiliating at my age to not control it. I should revisit anti-depressants but can't seem to motivate myself at all. I don't have any addictions to get over. I think I'm slipping into an area where I have always helped everyone else and now I feel useless and not proud of my boring life. Anyone else been thru this?
I'm not sure my situation is quite the same, but I can relate. I haven't worked outside of the home in over a decade. I've spent the last several years of my life taking care of everyone else in my life but not really focusing on me. Now, I'm looking to get back into the world and I am clueless and depressed.
I was once in the staying up too late, sleeping in pattern myself. While I can't say it was easy, I found it effective to force myself out of bed at the same time each day. After a while, it became a habit and I would fall asleep earlier at night.
Hang in there and try not to be so hard on yourself. (((HUGS)))
@comfortablynumb Thankyou so much for your input. I am just at this awful crossroads. Can’t relate to my peers who are slowng down & about to retire to their nice pensions, lake houses, and grndkids - I’m too young for that but too old to go back to schl, take out a big loan so I can go make $11hr as some desk assistant, etc. & work with 18 yr olds…I. don’t know how to have confidence that someone will actually want to hire me…I feel so useless. I appreciate your idea of getting up at the same time everyday. I trully hope you reach into yourself and move forward in your life…I know I can’t give up yet.
first of all, do what the 'average' person would do, although the range of averageness is vast. do some volunteering. it's free training and a current reference. don't even tell perspective employers that it's a voluntary position unless the ask. take a job at the entry level and act as if you are an immigrant, willing to do anything to get ahead. pat yourself on the back instead of blaming yourself for anything less than perfection. pat yourself on the back for even getting out of bed in the morning. don't fear routines. they are distressing but not dangerous. try temp work or substitute teaching, if it's an option, in your area. don't ask yourself how you're feeling. ask yourself how you're functioning. be the objective-realist as opposed to the romanto-intellectualist. it sounds as if you're angry at the outer enviroment. perfectionism is a hope, a dream, and an illusion. try Recovery International on the 'net. explore it, have phone sessions, attend a few meetings if you can, and decide whether or not they're going to benefit. make a decision and stick with it. duality is to be avoided. even if you decide not to decide on something, it beats duality. staying up until 3am isn't a solution to your challenges. it only makes the situation even more intensified. our bodies are programmed to sleep at night. perhaps stay up the entire day and then go to sleep at 8 or 9pm to reregulate your sleeping, or try a sleep clinic, if your insurance covers it. i'm here if you need me!
@GrosPont15 Well as u can see- it’s after 3am rt now …I didn’t do so well today thanks for your insight and resources…it gives me hope. Yes,Im too idealistic and perfectionistic bc I can’t find any job I’d even WANT to work at…our lives aren’t really our own so I just have to stop thinking I was -who I thought I could be without MASSIVE reinvention!!
I am over 50. Got laid off last year. Was shocked to hear that my age is now a factor in getting hired. I don't think of myself as old. I think of myself as in my prime working years. But, I have to admit, the layoff did get to me and I had to fight the urge to get down on myself. One thing that helped me was to checkout a job networking group at a local church. In addition to job and resume support - they really provided encouragement. I was able to talk to people in small groups and talk about my employment background. People asked some good questions. I also got to find out what they were doing in order to get a new job. The group was low cost and led by a networking professional. I did pay a professional job counselor to help me out also. The networking group and the counselor helped me focus on my core strengths - which really helped me have a better attitude going forward. I realized that I had accomplished some good things in my life. I also had people pray for my situation. That was a big help. Good luck with your situation. It just takes some effort to get out there and join a group and/or see a counselor. There are lots of people in the same boat - so nothing to be ashamed about. Take care of yourself physically too. Prayers for your situation!
@catch_the_music Thank you so much, I didn’t think of this resource. I thought well, I guess I have to go in to the Temp agency, etc…I really hate office work, I’m much more of a ppl & hands on kind of person. I also do not think of myself as “too old to hire” but it’s a pretty cruel picture when one doesn’t even have a degree. I did the “school of life’s hard knocks” and let me say…they were doozies. I will try to get the courage to expand my areas…and thanks for your reply
how about some sort of training program, and/or book discussion and conversation groups via MEETIP.COM ??
you have to want to really do what it takes and walk through the discomfort of change.
Hi really sorry for the late reply. I took a brk 4mos from Sg- it kept logging me off or dumping my content.
You had some really helpful insights you told me -very wise! Please forgive me not seeing this alert. I truly care about supporting everyone here.
Are you still around? Hope you are doing well -let me know.