Time to face the facts

I'm on here to vent. Because i dont have anyone i can really talk to at the moment. I feel guilty just for sayin that ive been depressed for sometime now. I have a great family, my health is ok and good friends too. REcently and more and more so ive lost all interest in things i used to care about. I'm pretyy much apathetic towards everything..work, my family, friends, the future and hobbies i once had. They would neverrrr know...i put on a different face everyday basically all an act. I just dont care. Feeling very insignificant. At least 3 different people i graduated highschool with committed suicide this passed year for whatever reasons and i can't lie the thought has crossed my mind at times too..theydont have to make anymore decisions and deal with problems...they took the easy road i feel sometimes.

I've always been a little unstable and have had good and bad days...but never took any medication or seeked help..felt it was just normal for someone in there mid 20s.....

Everything changed Just a year ago i moved to a new state landed a great job and was genuiely happy. I even had goals of going back to school or starting my own business. I was a little lonely for a few months trying to meet new people. SUre enough i made friends and started a great new social life. A few months later i got involved with a girl whom i thought was awesome. More of a good friend at first but one thing led to another and we were a couple. My life was finally where i wanted it to be.

i was always someone who stood up for what was right and never backed down from anyone...but i moved partly to start fresh and live drama free and i was......Drama found me of course. I was confronted by a crazy ex bf of her's and things became so serious...my life was being tortured and threatened constantly...so much so that i abandoned everything and moved out of state. I left my job, my rented apt, my car my girl everythingg. I've been depressed ever since. (6months) The thought of what could have been haunts me 90 percent of everyday, including my dreams. I can't' escape it and its driving me insane. i want to move back and start over but realize that things will not be the same as they were. And with said that i've sortve given up.

Any advice is helpful...

I've often felt the heavy weight of depression I stopped doing everything I loved and all my friends felt me pulling away and didn't try to stop me from becoming a recluse. Now after I lost my mom I'm putting everything back together it has been really hard and I'm still battling the depression but I try to think how great everything OS going to be soon and those thoughts are the ones that help me get through the hard times. I wish you the best of luck and I'm sure your life is to valuable to just toss it out. Everywhere you go you can male friends just remember that.