Time to stop

This is my first time here. I know I have a problem with gambling. I have told my husband in the past when I have lost money at the casino (a lot of money) but recently I have been hiding it from him. I am using my bill money to gamble. There are not any meetings in my area that work with my work schedule so I have turned to the internet for help. I want to sit down with my husband and talk with him about the severity of my gambling but I am afraid of what he will think of me, I think pretty crappy of myself right now. I have never felt more anxious and depressed with my gambling than I do right now. I have lied to my landlord so he would not deposit my check until my paycheck clears. I am one month behind on my electricity bill and I have even taken out payday loans to cover my losses (without telling my husband). My husband and I have been together for 19 years (married 17 of them) and we do not have joint checking accounts so he has no clue what I have been doing. I need someone to talk to and help me with my addiction. HELP please.

Would you be willing to start counseling and perhaps look into online Gambler's anonymous meetings? Conquering an addiction is not as wasy as clicking your ruby shoes and repeating something 3 times, it takes work, patience and maintence over the long run. If you want to stop, you need to sit down with your husband and come up with a plan before your financial problems get so out of hand he finds out from the financial institutions and not you.

I hope to see more posts from you detailing your journey to recovery.

Hugs-
CK

I can completely relate to what you're going through. I have never felt more depressed and down about myself as I do now. I am set to get married in five months and I'm more miserable than ever. I understand about lying to your husband. I have lied so many times and am so disgusted with myself. I now have no control over my money. Every paycheque I get my fiance keeps. I just ask to have money transferred if I have bills that need to come out. Now, that certainly has not solved the problem though. I've literally found every way to get money that I can.

I have finally ran out though - as of today - I have not one dollar to my name.

Me giving him all my money was the hardest thing I have ever had to do - I am sucessful in my career and should have no problem with money. I knew I had to do it though. For me it was one step in the right direction. I also phoned my bank and had all my accounts changed - that was embarrassing too but at least it's done now.

I am a million miles away from being better but maybe those are a few things that could help you.

I found it impossible to beat this addiction alone. When I found support in a group with other people of "like mindness," things began to change. I just think it's to hard to carry all the gulit and shame that comes from this disease by oneself. For me the group, GA, and my accountability partners have helped me make some radical changes. Once that starts, i felt so relieved and hopeful, I could not help but work harder. One thing I have heard that I remind myself daily is, "either you are feeding your recovery or you are feeding your addiction, youn decide."
Praying for you.
mgc

I too am an addict and have been gambling for 17 years. I am reaching out for the first time trying to get support. I want to quit and going to a GA meeting today. The anxiety, depression and financial burden is killing me. I work all the time just to feed my addiction. It's crazy the money you just throw away and then feel depressed. Something so controllable but you seem not to ever have control. When you're gambling you never think about how it's going to make you feel when you lose all you money and how it will change your life. You only think about the game. I'm so over it and pray that I can stay strong.

You're post are older and I hope everything worked out for you. Stay strong and be true to yourself and I will try to do the same.

I am reaching out today for the first time, as well. I have been gambling for about about the same amount of years. Tens of thousands of dollars have gone into the slot machines. When I am gambling it is almost like the money is “play money.” You thoughts are so similar to mine. You say you are “so over it”…I’ve said that many times before. Maybe putting it in print like this will help me stay strong. I, too, am so over it. I just want to be normal like everyone else. I was able to quit drinking 12+ years ago without any trouble – just one day I said to myself I wasn’t going to drink again and I was able to stick to it. Why is gambling so much more difficult? Trust me when I say, I was very close to being physically addicted to alcohol. It seems as though I have replaced alcohol with gambling. So glad I found a recent comment. Hope you are able to stay strong.