I've been married for 13 years, for the first 6 it was great, we were a team, a family. Now it's not so good. I have two great kids, and a husband that doesn't want to do anything with us. He only wants to play video games and do trading cards all the time. He hasn't kissed me in over 5 years, it's like I'm his mom too and it sucks. We talked about it, I've even left with the kids and went on a 5 day trip. I've told him exactly what he's doing and he doesn't seem to care. I really think it's time to move on and none of us are living were just exhisting in a house of pain.
Hey toi, Welcome to SupportGroups.com . Sounds like your husband has an addiction to playing games and trading cards. A person can be addicted to anything. Does your husband work?
These are a few links on video addiction:
http://www.video-game-addiction.org/
http://www.myaddiction.com/video-game-addiction.html
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/video-game-addiction-no-fun
Like anyone who is addicted to anything, he has to be willing to help himself. You, on the other hand, have to do what is best for you and your children. Keep posting here and letting us know how you are doing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))
Thanks for your comment. I don't know whats happening to him, I've suggested the addiction thing and he denies it. I don't think he's willing to do anything about it either.
I married a man and after a few years it was like Im not a wife but a object for him to occasionally play with. There is no affection, and when he has a bad day at work it's like I'm suppose to coddle him, I'm sick of being married to a baby. He acts like he's 12 one moment and then 90 another. Yesterday I went and secured our finances into a single checking account with only my name on it. Last week he went and took 400 dollars out for an upcoming card and comic event locally. Me being laid off work that amount really hurt us and he doesn't care. Enough is enough, I'm taking the steps to seperate, were not married anymore in spirit, so why should we be on paper. We sleep in the same bed but that's it for the last several months, almost a year. No kisses ever, it's just no affection, I'm a free maid, babysitter, cook, and a toy to play with at his convenience. Our Kids are always thinking they've done something to make him mad at them cause he NEVER wants to do anything with them, and if you force him to do something it just turns into a horrible experience. this house has become a prison for the three of us and it's time for a change. I was so scared making the seperate checking account that I went and talked to a total stranger at the library about it. She was very attentive and told me that if I don't take care of things it will never change. It made me feel good, I haven't done anything wrong and I shouldn't feel bad about wanting a better life for my kids and I.
We have to always put our kids first. If you know that this is affecting the kids in a negative way then it is time for a change. He is just taking you all for granite, he thinks you will always be there. Sometimes it takes a drastic change to wake somebody up, you don't know what you have until it is gone.
You need to keep you and your children happy and safe. Would he agree to go to therapy with you? This way you have someone there to help him understand, if he is willing to listen.
Stay strong.
You'll be in my prayers! Take care of yourself, and the rest will work itself out!
I would try and help the kids sympathize with dad. Do what you can to help THEM and forget if it makes dad look good or not or if it's what you totally believe. If it makes the kids happy and it makes some sense go with it. How old are your kids? Let them know that daddy has a hard time functioning in the real world and that's why he is on the computer so much. Let them gently know he is basically a high functioning retard who also has trouble expressing affection. Give the disorder a name if you wish look online surely something benign fits. Do you really think that being a single mom and the kids going there unsupervised for custody visits will be better??? Really at our age we should try and restrain ourselves, be the mom we can be, find a job, buy or rent your own place and then you can live near or have two places why not? He will not mind if you don't push him but have your own place to go to when you want and let him pay the main place as any man should.
Sorry to say this but your situation is not that bad compared not only to others on this board but compared to the stories in the Bible. And if we see the women rewarded they acted based on following the path of God and not simply out of sexual frustration. Not getting kissed is awful, horrible. I've been there for years I get it. But until I changed MY life and started loving my husband and truly caring for him and realizing that he too hurt (every man with no sexuality hurts that's the truth and NO they won't ever yell it but they hurt check the other forums on men who are asexual ).
Signed, your sister in pain