To those of us who feel we had a great love and suddenly it

Relationships Romantic Relationships
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To those of us who feel we had a great love and suddenly it was gone. Perhaps we simply need to rethink it and see the good in it:
"True love will triumph in the end - which may or may not be a lie, but if it is a lie, then it's the most beautiful lie we have"
~John Green

1 Heart
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That's exactly how I feel. If we're truly meant to be, that's how it will work out,

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I don't agree. Love takes work and effort or it will die. It's a romanticized fairytale that screws with our expectations of real life.

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@Not.sure.anymore interesting, so you are saying it is a lie? I agree with you, I think it takes work and that romanticizing it is silly, However, for me I thought that was the point of this quote. Even if you think it is a lie, or does not exist, true love that is, it is still better than not having the concept at all. After seeing all the pain on this site I have come to realize most of the pain is due to us all having a “positive illusion” of marriage, that was just that our illusion. The pain comes from realizing that something we thought existed, did not really exist. So I connected that to this quote, my marriage may have been an positive illusion but it was still a good thing.

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I don't think it is a beautiful lie because it screws our perspective and gives us unrealistic expectations. A relationship works if both parties make it work.
I'm not even two months past dday, so maybe I'm jaded :)

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i think it takes a lot more than love to make a marriage work

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True and understandable from what you have been through- neglect led to affair. My husband and I had what I thought was a good marriage- we were close, no kids, no financial stress. He's just a narcissistic liar who hid a fantasy life from me, our friends and family. So no there is no beautiful lie.

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@Not.sure.anymore ya, I get it. There are some many stories on this site. I tend to equate to myself to them. Time and time again is comes up that we really only have one thing in common, being hurt deeply by betrayal. We have 3 basically grown kids, are best friends, but after years of the good life, 2008/09 caught me financially risk wise and it was tough. So I put my head down to recover, my kids grow up and leave home, my stay at home wife career ends with that change, her husband is absorbed, and we have no money. All brutal hits to any relationship. She is back at her career, I am starting business #3, and we have our heads down again after a bit of a wakeup 7 months ago. I am sorry for your trouble, I hope you find some peace soon.

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"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation~" Khalil Gibran

1 Heart