Today, I am four weeks past DDay and I would like to try something a little different. I am taking stock of what is going well and what is good in my life and wanted to share that with my friends and fellow warriors on this board. Let’s take strength in each other’s successes and triumphs. Please post something positive about your life in this time of struggle and enjoy the strength you can receive from hearing of other’s triumphs.
I have become a better, more engaged father and I am loving it!
I have re-connected with my wife in a way that is better than when we first were married!
I have come to understand myself and my past behaviours so much better!
I am excited to re-discover who I am and shed the co-dependency I’ve developed!
I have stopped watching so much television!
I read more!
So glad to hear things are well for you and your wife! :-)
As for me, 4 years post DDay, I, too, can say my husband and I have reconnected in a way that's deeper, more real and honest than when we first met and married.
I have taken responsibility for my part in his infidelity. My behavior towards him at that time left him lonely and vulnerable and I wasn't being the best wife, friend or partner.
I have learned not just how to listen, but hear him when he speaks
And most importantly, when I was the most lost I've ever been, I found God, who strengthened me, and gave me the wisdom needed to rebuild my marriage, and through His grace and mercy my marriage is thriving and we are happier and more in love than we've ever been. :-)
Love this! Things are good between my husband and me. He is so much more attentive and loving. We are working on paying off some big ones and getting more financially fit. We work together better. We are enjoying planning a romantic trip together. We are affectionate and enjoy each other. The trust is coming back and although I wish it was returning at a faster rate, I am seeing progress. No more bad dreams and sleeping better. Not as obsessed with everything. Enjoying the little things. Life is good. Hope is returning. Thank you for this thread. A great thread!! Good to take stock of improvements and blessings. Good to feel thankful about them!! Have a good weekend!!
For me it's 4.5 months since dday. I realized how much I loved my wife. I realized that she's a good person that made a bad mistake. I learned to set aside the hate and love her. If I was to keep hating her, she'd get tired....you can only take so much. I learned to do more stuff as a family. We go walking with our two boys. I work out with my wife. We go to the movies more often now. I compliment my wife more now. I see my weaknesses in the relationship that made it easier for her to make a mistake. Pretty much how I go is how the day will go....if I decided I want to have a good day then I make her day better.
Retweet all the above. Two years for me and I really need to let it go. It will destroy us. I am better connected to life in general. Kids, family, wife. I need to count my blessings and there are many. I have forgiven her, I love her but I get stuck on trying to figure it all out. Like why it happened and so forth. What I know is that I have a great girl that loves me and simply screwed up. I really need to remember that. I am going to focus even more on making her days better. She deserves that. Thanks all of you!
I have learned about letting my anger and resentment go. I was only hurting myself by hanging onto it. My husband is truly a transformed man. I feel like I'm finally be treated the way I should have been treated along . I have learned who my real and true friends are.
This is an awesome, thought provoking thread, thank you!
It's been 10 months for me. I've learned that life keeps going, and it's in my power to choose to be happy.
I've learned what unconditional love and commitment mean. I made a promise to my husband and to God the day I married him, and no where in that promise was there a section that said if he didn't uphold his end of the deal, I no longer needed to uphold mine. "For better or worse" is in those vows for a reason. Every married couple will encounter a 'worse' in their marriage. It's in those times you'll really find out what you're made of, individually and as a couple.
I've learned that I put my husband on a pedestal and idolized him, and it was an unfair thing for me to do. He is not perfect, and the pressure I put on him to be perfect made him reluctant to be completely honest and open with me. I wish he had felt like he was able to talk to me about his issues and struggles. He had a porn addiction he was ashamed of. He was feeling isolated and insecure because of this, but could never tell me. Now we are able to be completely honest and transparent with each other, good, bad, and ugly. But instead of trying to work those things out individually, we can tackle them as a team.
I've learned to rely on God for my happiness and healing, because He is the only one who will never fail me. My husband and I have connected on a spiritual level that is very fulfilling and just plain awesome! It's something I never knew I wanted, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!
My husband and I are passionate about loving and protecting each other. We will never again have a 'lazy' marriage where we take each other for granted.
I could seriously go on and on. Thank you for giving me and opportunity to examine the good changes.