Today I only got to talk to my best friend for about 4 hours. He and I usually talk to each other about 8 - 11 hours out of the day... This is such a drastic difference, I'm not handling very well. I'm like a rusty old car going 80 MPH down the interstate being held together by 2-year-old ducktape. Tears are trying to push through, my heart is in my throat....
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I know how you feel, and you really need to try meditation. It helps. It will take some practice, but you can even feel some sense of instant relief, the first time, as well. After awhile, you will become habituated...I am new to it myself, so I am projecting, at this point.
However, you have to understand one thing. People will not always be there for you, especially borderlines, since we have developed a crushing need for support. Not only that, but we also tend to draw uncaring people into our midst. They don't share our concerns, nor do they truly understand what it's like...they will eventually come to see our crises as self-centered.
Rely on yourself because you are your own best source of strength. Believe it. You think you need someone to prop you up, but that's not true. You were told that you weren't good enough, so you are trying to find that validation elsewhere...Therefore, if the first statement isn't true; then the second need not apply.
Listen to positive words of encouragement. I search Youtube a lot. I am also reading books, when I can calm down enough to focus on the words dancing on the pages.
It's dangerous to wear your heart on your sleeve to people out there because they only learn to resent and/or use the info you feed them about yourself. You have vulnerabilities, but so do they! They just won't tell anyone about it ~ That is the only difference between you and them: They have found a way to keep their secrets to themselves.
Make no mistake about how vital and important you are! Keep going and reach out to us, whenever you need.
Kisobel, I am sorry I didn't respond earlier. Thank you for your kind words. I said I was leaving, but I gravitated back...It's like when you say you're going to quit FB, LOL.
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Butterfly - I found that meditation has helped me too - it does take a little bit of practice, but the more you do it and give it a chance, it gets easier. Just start with 3 minutes of breathing - that's how I started, just 3 minutes. There are also online guided meditations that you could try. It also helped me better understand DBT skills.
It's funny, but this Saturday is my last meditation session and I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also a little scared that it's over and now I have to keep doing it on my own. Well, it's exciting. I hope you give it a try because it really can help.
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@hugoluc Hi, you’ve just got tone straight with her… I agree with RollerCostalLady ‘Totally’… Your not in control of ‘How’ somebody ‘Feels’ however, if you lead her on, then, ‘You’ are going to ‘Hurt’ her so, in that respect, ‘You’ know, what ‘Not’ to do to in-order that she ‘Won’t Feel Hurt’!.. When you talk to anybody online in whatever ‘Capacity’, you always have to ‘Remember’, you ‘Are’ talking to another ‘Human-Being’ who ‘HAS FEELINGS’… Make sure, ‘You Always’ set ‘Boundries’ at the beginning… I think however, in relation to your ‘Present Situation’, ‘LET HER OFF YOUR HOOK’ as nicely as possible… Trish
MomaYork, here are two free guided meditations on Youtube for Depression and Anxiety.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_bHsDSuoP0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dsLnodJYdc&authuser=0
1 Heart