Today is the day. 3hrs and counting. Anxiety is high. My he

Today is the day. 3hrs and counting.
Anxiety is high. My heart is aching in feeling the pain Im going to be causing him.
I feel even worse because no one wanted to stay away from me when I got sick (which I am - but getting better already); Now the kids and my s/o woke up sick this morning. And Im just going to be leaving him to be sick by himself. That breaks my heart.
Typical I would say maybe this is a sign that I shouldnt be leaving. But I know there's no turning back. My dad already flew all the way here and paid for a room to be here a day early.
Plus, looking through the lens of a different perspective, its just the negative energy trying to keep me from moving forward. I wish I could take the sickness away from us all.
It wouldnt be as bad when it was just me sick. But it just seems so wrong leaving him to fend for himself, especially while he's sick and weak.
I really hope I dont smile while telling him this either. I dont want to send him the wrong message. Whenever I feel things are super awkward I smile because I dont know what else to do in an awkward situation. I have so much crying that I've been holding in for so long. I know the moment I see my family and friends I will be bawling my eyes out.
I could really write forever about how bad my anxiety is but Im sure many can relate in one way or another.
I just thank God for allowing me to make it safely to this day. Although this chapter of my life is closing, I will cherish the good times we shared. Im starting on a healthier path now; so I continue to pray to for strength, faith, and resilience through this process.

2 Hearts

Wow good luck…it’s sad always to end relationship but it’s hopeful while you end unhealthy toxic one that you make way for potential healthier life and mindset! I’ll be praying you n kids stay safe through all this!

1 Heart

@Foundlove Thank you, much appreciated!