Today my boyfriend of five months broke up with me. I though

Today my boyfriend of five months broke up with me. I thought he was my knight in shining armor (to be fair, I had never thought a guy could be this before him). I had been very open with him about my condition, and he suffered from depression so I thought he would understand. As time went on, I soon realized that he really didn't understand my condition, nor could he relate, and when he would get depressed, it was all about him. He was great and did great things, but every time I made a mistake, he would use it as an excuse to try to break up with me and leave. My biggest problem with my disorder is the fear of abandonment, and every month he would try to leave me for a mistake. I would have to convince him to stay with me, and today I just didn't have it in me. If someone really loves me or cares, they wouldn't find any excuse to leave me. They would care that they are breaking my heart. I even told him I had cut last night, and he didn't even bat an eye. It's a really sad realization that I spent my heart and soul on this person who I throwing me away like garbage. But a good side to this story is I'm not sad, I know I deserve better. Yes, I mess up, I'm human and with a disorder it makes it worse. And sometimes I'm hard to deal with, but I'm the most loving and caring person in the world, and I give my all. If he can't appreciate that, then screw him. I've never searched for BPD support or sought it out, but I think now I would love people to talk to that can relate to me and that I can go to when I need help. Any and all feedback/support/suggestions would be lovely :)

Sweet thing I can tell that you're young. Soulmate after 5 months?? At that point that's when the real him is JUST starting to show. And don't EVER beg a man to stay, know your self worth. I have abandonment issues as well but every time me and my boyfriend have a fight, he knows I'm not calling first. Because I know that I'm the prize and he'll have to come to me. Honestly 2 people with psychological issues might not be the best option for dating. How about a positive uplifting guy that accepts you for who you are. Not like this clown that you are dating

1 Heart

I am so sorry, this happened, and so glad that you have a good attitude about it. yes, screw him. you do deserve better, much better. I do not have BPD, I am just helping watch this board, but a very dear to my heart friend I have made here does, and she is helping me understand BPD. So much so that I thought 'oh, no, abandonment' before I got to your sentence about that being the biggest problem with your disorder. but y'know, we all mess up, we are all human, and some of us have disorders, and that does not and should not put us in a different bracket. you do deserve better than he gave. Big hugs, and welcome here. I wanted to make sure you got a welcome ASAP from someone. and I am sure you will find plenty of BPD support here. :)

1 Heart

Remember you deserve someone that loves you for you. I have been where you are. Some people expect everyone to understand their issues but won't try and understand others. We all make mistakes and can be a pain, I know I am at times! Take care. BPD is hard to live with at times I know but things get better.

1 Heart

I know I was quick to jump the gun, I had just been with so many bad guys and abusive relationships and settled so much that he was like a fairy tail and I really thought he was everything I ever wanted. It hurts because I'm such a caring and giving person and give everything I have to another when I love them, and he can act like I never meant anything. I won't begin to understand what hes thinking or going through, because I would be spending more time on him that he doesn't deserve.

@Airels spend time focusing on you. Do things you love doing you may have stopped. There is nothing wrong with caring/given person. You should be proud of these qualities. The right person will come along.

2 Hearts